(set: $hints to 1)(set: $sched to "false")(set: $man to "false")(set: $billgotten to "false")(set: $billedited to "false")(set: $newman to "false")(set: $manfound to "false")(set: $bill3 to "false")(set: $bill4 to "false")(set: $clock to "off")(set: $stungun to "no")(set: $manhunt to "false")(set: $hiding to "false")(set: $talkedblue to 0)(set: $talkedred to 0)(set: $talkedblue2 to 0)(set: $talkedred2 to 0)(set: $study to 0)(set: $whipper to 0)(if: $endings is 0)[(set: $endings to 0)](else-if: $endings is 2)[(set: $endings to 2)](else-if: $endings is 3)[(set: $endings to 3)](else:)[(set: $endings to 1)]Congratulations! You're a new political representative in the country of (text-colour:black)+(bg:red)[''COUNTRY NAME REDACTED'']. Although you're excited to begin your tenure, you know the nation is in dire straits. Corruption and greed run rampant, fear and anger are commonplace, war is always looming, and the common people are constantly suffering. Unlike some of the more naive representatives in your legislature, you have no hope you'll be able to fix any of that during your time in office. You've made a lot of promises to your constituents, but in your heart of hearts you only have one goal. A reasonable goal. A pragmatic goal. A goal that sets the bar so low it's impossible for you to fail. You want to ''pass a single bill'' into law. <div class="billimage"></div> Time to [[enter the legislature|The Legislature]]! (if: $endings is >=1 and $endexplanation is 0)[<hr /> Since you've completed this game at least once before, you've unlocked some bonus content! Check the sidebar to now view the number of living endings you've achieved, the number of gruesome deaths you've experienced, and a list of random amusing things to try. (set: $endexplanation to 1)](if:visit is <= 1)[This is it! You've finally reached the belly of the beast. Despite your cynicism, you can't help but feel a little awe. ]This is the main chamber of the legislature, with grand tall ceilings and looming spectator seats. Personal desks are scattered throughout the room, including [[your new desk| Your Desk]]. There are many smaller chambers leading off of the main floor, including [[your new office| Your Office]], the [[majority leader's office| Majority Leader's Office]], the [[minority leader's office| Minority Leader's Office]], the [[chief whip's office| Chief Whip's Office]], the [[minority whip's office| Minority Whip's Office]], a slew of [[twisting hallways|Legislature Hallway]], and personal chambers for the [[governing party| Governing Party's Chambers]] and the [[opposition party| Opposition Party's Chambers]] to debate amongst themselves. (You, being an independent, can filter between these rooms.) (if: $billgotten is "true")[You are carrying a bill with you, but it would be indecent to read it out in the open. You'll have to find someplace private if you want to look it over.] (if: $sched is "true" and $man is "true")[You are (if: $billgotten is "true")[also ]carrying a legislative calendar and a (if: $newman is "true")[new, smelly orientation ]manual with you, but there's no need to read them since the information contained within is either already memorized or exceedingly unimportant.](else-if: $sched is "true")[You are (if: $billgotten is "true")[also ]carrying a legislative calendar with you, but there's no need to read it since the information contained within is already memorized.](else-if: $man is "true")[You are (if: $billgotten is "true")[also ]carrying a (if: $newman is "true")[new, smelly orientation ]manual with you, but there's no need to read it since the information contained within is exceedingly unimportant.] <div class="legislatureimage"></div> (if: $clock is "on" and $clockdeath is >=2)[(link: "Ugh, I'm sick of dying. Simulation, are you sure there's a way forward from here?")[(text-colour:green)[Affirmative. Path forward found.] (if: $study is "minority")[(link: "Well, be that as it may, simulation, can we go back to when the minority whip asked me for my loyalty? I want to try something else to get him off my back.")[(text-colour:green)[Simulation reverting to specifications. Please wait...(live: 3s)[(go-to:" Minority Party Study Room")]]]](else-if: $study is "majority")[(link: "Well, be that as it may, simulation, can we go back to when the chief whip asked me for my loyalty? I want to try something else to get him off my back.")[(text-colour:green)[Simulation reverting to specifications. Please wait...(live: 3s)[(go-to:" Majority Party Study Room")]]](else:)[(text-colour:green)[...and our records indicate that you've already discovered this. Please, do not address us again frivolously.]]]]](if: $clock is "on")[(set: $showfooter to 0)<style> tw-story { background-color: red !important; color: #000 !important; }</style>] Your desk is nicely polished and looks practically untouched. You expect that will change. (if: $clock is "on")[ The portly man emerges from the shadows. "I see that you're not actually thinking, but plotting. Bad move, kid." And with that, he shoots you in the head. <div class="deathbygunimage"></div> (if: $clockdeath is 0)[(set: $deathcount to $deathcount +1)](set: $clockdeath to $clockdeath +1) ***You Have Died*** (if: $deathcount is 7)[CONGRATULATIONS on dying as much as possible! (Sounds weird, right? Well, play silly games, win silly prizes.) I hereby grant you the title of (text-colour:black)+(bg:orange)[(text-style:"blink")[''Master of Death'']] for your trouble.] Now let's try that again, shall we? And no more making naive choices this time, hmm? [[Resurrect me I guess...|The Legislature]]](else:)[<div class="deskimage"></div> From here you can go back to the [[main chamber|The Legislature]]. (if:$sched is "false" and $man is "false")[Sitting on your desk are a legislative calendar and an orientation manual. (link:"Read your legislative calendar.")[The legislative calendar is the same every year, and you've already memorized it. It's really just a useless piece of bureaucracy at this point, but they were required to give it to you at your orientation.] (link:"Pick up your legislative calendar.")[You pick up your legislative calendar.(set: $sched to "true")] (link: "Read your orientation manual.")[The orientation manual is like most others you've read, with boilerplate legalese and stock images. It's really just a useless piece of bureaucracy at this point, but they were required to give it to you at your orientation.] (link:"Pick up your orientation manual.")[You pick up your orientation manual.(set: $man to "true")]](else-if: $man is "false")[On your desk lies an orientation manual. (link: "Read your orientation manual.")[The orientation manual is like most others you've read, with boilerplate legalese and stock images. It's really just a useless piece of bureaucracy at this point, but they were required to give it to you at your orientation.] (link:"Pick up your orientation manual.")[You pick up your orientation manual.(set: $man to "true")]](else-if: $sched is "false")[On your desk lies a legislative calendar. (link:"Read your legislative calendar.")[The legislative calendar is the same every year, and you've already memorized it. It's really just a useless piece of bureaucracy at this point, but they were required to give it to you at your orientation.] (link:"Pick up your legislative calendar.")[You pick up your legislative calendar.(set: $sched to "true")]](if: $billgotten is "true")[ You are carrying a bill with you. (link: "Read it at your desk.")[(if: $billedited is "false")[It's titled "An act to re-name the post office in district 5 of (text-colour:black)+(bg:red)[''COUNTRY NAME REDACTED''] to better reflect its location." The current name of the post office in district 5 is "Post Office of District 6." It's confusing to say the least.](elseif: $bill3 is "false")[It's titled "An act to re-name a post office, and other matters." The central part of the bill is to re-name a poorly worded post office, but it also includes an earmark to fund a rebel group against a foreign regime the government has recently come into conflict with. Wait, what?? This'll never be able to pass!](elseif: $bill4 is "false")[It's titled "An act to re-name a post office, and other matters." The beginning paragraph of the bill is still about the re-naming of the post office, but the rest is about funding two different paramilitary rebel groups in foreign countries who are very similar but for some reason still hate each other.](else:)[The bill is getting very hard to follow now, and you notice it's even been renamed. It's now called "An act to fund the budgetary defense of our international allies, influx capital into the First Bank of (text-colour:black)+(bg:red)[''COUNTRY NAME REDACTED''] and others, reform the tax code to better reflect inflationary bias, update our outdated police equipment, make our annual Ribboning festival an optional federal holiday, and other matters." Whatever, you don't really care about the contents anymore. So long as it gets passed and you can put your name on it.]]]] The chambers here are opulent and full of blue campaign stuff. There's a blue rug, blue sofas, blue conference table, blue election banners in support of the current government, and blue marble floors. (if: $clock is "on")[(set: $showfooter to 0)<style> tw-story { background-color: red !important; color: #000 !important; }</style> The portly man emerges from the shadows. "I see that you're not actually thinking, but plotting. Bad move, kid." And with that, he shoots you in the head. <div class="deathbygunimage"></div> (if: $clockdeath is 0)[(set: $deathcount to $deathcount +1)](set: $clockdeath to $clockdeath +1) ***You Have Died*** (if: $deathcount is 7)[CONGRATULATIONS on dying as much as possible! (Sounds weird, right? Well, play silly games, win silly prizes.) I hereby grant you the title of (text-colour:black)+(bg:orange)[(text-style:"blink")[''Master of Death'']] for your trouble.] Now let's try that again, shall we? And no more making naive choices this time, hmm? [[Resurrect me I guess...|The Legislature]]](else:)[From here you can go back to the [[main room.|The Legislature]] <div class="bluedebateimage"></div>One of the more seasoned of your fellow representatives is sitting on the blue sofa here, sipping a scotch. Would you like to (link-reveal: "talk to her?")[ (link-reveal: "How's it going?")[(if: $talkedblue is 0)[ "Living the dream." She gives an annoying little smirk.(set: $talkedblue to 1)](else:)[ "Same old, same old." She gives her signature smirk. "You settling in ok?(if: $manfound is "true")[ You're not still upset about our little prank, right?" And she bursts into a fit of irritating laughter.](else:)[" You nod to her and she turns back to her drink.]]](if: $talkedblue2 is 0 and $talkedred2 is 0)[ (link-reveal: "When does the legislature come into session?")[ "Not for a little while. You'll know when the time comes." She gives you an irritating smirk.(set: $talkedblue2 to 1)]] (if: $manhunt is "true" and $manfound is "false" and $manfoundblue is 0)[(link-reveal: "Do you know where I can find an updated manual?")[ The representative gives you a little smirk and says "Maybe..." (link-reveal: "What is that supposed to mean.")[ "Well... I might have taken it from your desk with some other representatives and switched it with an old one." (link-reveal: "Are you serious?")[ "Hahahahah!" She leans back on the blue sofa she's sitting in as she laughs. Then she realizes you're still not smiling. "Oh come on, it was just a harmless little prank! The old guard's kind of obligated to do a little hazing on the first-timers, wouldn't you say?" You are not amused. She rolls her eyes. "FINE, it's in the bathroom, under the sink. Better run quick, you wouldn't want it to get wet." She smirks again.(set: $manfound to "true")(set: $manfoundblue to 1)]]]]]] The chambers here are opulent and full of red campaign stuff. There's a red rug, red sofas, red conference table, red election banners in support of the current government, and red marble floors. (if: $clock is "on")[(set: $showfooter to 0)<style> tw-story { background-color: red !important; color: #000 !important; }</style> The portly man emerges from the shadows. "I see that you're not actually thinking, but plotting. Bad move, kid." And with that, he shoots you in the head. <div class="deathbygunimage"></div> (if: $clockdeath is 0)[(set: $deathcount to $deathcount +1)](set: $clockdeath to $clockdeath +1) ***You Have Died*** (if: $deathcount is 7)[CONGRATULATIONS on dying as much as possible! (Sounds weird, right? Well, play silly games, win silly prizes.) I hereby grant you the title of (text-colour:black)+(bg:orange)[(text-style:"blink")[''Master of Death'']] for your trouble.] Now let's try that again, shall we? And no more making stupid, naive choices this time, hmm? [[Resurrect me I guess...|The Legislature]]](else:)[From here you can go back to the [[main room.|The Legislature]] <div class="reddebateimage"></div>One of the more seasoned of your fellow representatives is sitting at the red conference table here, belting down a bourbon. Would you like to (link-reveal: "talk to him?")[ (link-reveal: "How's it going?")[(if: $talkedred is 0)[ "Living the dream." He gives an annoying little snicker.(set: $talkedred to 1)](else:)[ "Same old, same old." He gives his signature snicker. "You settling in ok?(if: $manfound is "true")[ You're not still upset about our little prank, right?" And he bursts into a fit of obnoxious laughter.](else:)[" You nod to him and he turns back to his drink.]]](if: $talkedblue2 is 0 and $talkedred2 is 0)[ (link-reveal: "When does the legislature come into session?")[ "Not for a little while. You'll know when the time comes." He snickers, irritating you.(set: $talkedred2 to 1)]] (if: $manhunt is "true" and $manfound is "false" and $manfoundred is 0)[(link-reveal: "Do you know where I can find an updated manual?")[ The representative snickers a little and says "Maybe..." (link-reveal: "What is that supposed to mean.")[ "Well... I might have taken it from your desk with some other representatives and switched it with an old one." (link-reveal: "Are you serious?")[ "Hahahahah!" He leans back from the red table he's sitting at as he laughs. Then he realizes you're still not smiling. "Oh come on, it was just a harmless little prank! The old guard's kind of required to do a little hazing on the first-timers, wouldn't you say?" You are not amused. He rolls his eyes. "FINE, it's in the bathroom, under the sink. Better run quick, you wouldn't want it to get wet." He snickers again.(set: $manfound to "true")(set: $manfoundred to 1)]]]]]](if: $clock is "on")[(set: $showfooter to 0)<style> tw-story { background-color: red !important; color: #000 !important; }</style>] You haven't had much time to unpack but your office is already starting to feel like home. A grand desk, a few easy chairs, and a liquor cabinet are present here. (if: $clock is "on")[ The portly man emerges from the shadows. "I see that you're not actually thinking, but plotting. Bad move, kid." And with that, he shoots you in the head. <div class="deathbygunimage"></div> (if: $clockdeath is 0)[(set: $deathcount to $deathcount +1)](set: $clockdeath to $clockdeath +1) ***You Have Died*** (if: $deathcount is 7)[CONGRATULATIONS on dying as much as possible! (Sounds weird, right? Well, play silly games, win silly prizes.) I hereby grant you the title of (text-colour:black)+(bg:orange)[(text-style:"blink")[''Master of Death'']] for your trouble.] Now let's try that again, shall we? And no more making naive choices this time, hmm? [[Resurrect me I guess...|The Legislature]]](else:)[<div class="officeimage"></div>From here you can go back to the [[main room|The Legislature]]. (if: $billgotten is "false")[On the grand desk you can see your first draft for a bill. (link: "Read it.")[It's titled "An act to re-name the post office in district 5 of (text-colour:black)+(bg:red)[''COUNTRY NAME REDACTED''] to better reflect its location." The current name of the post office in district 5 is "Post Office of District 6." It's confusing to say the least.] (link: "Take it.")[You take the bill.(set: $billgotten to "true")]](else:)[You are carrying a bill with you. (link: "Read it.")[(if: $billedited is "false")[It's titled "An act to re-name the post office in district 5 of (text-colour:black)+(bg:red)[''COUNTRY NAME REDACTED''] to better reflect its location." The current name of the post office in district 5 is "Post Office of District 6." It's confusing to say the least.](elseif: $bill3 is "false")[It's titled "An act to re-name a post office, and other matters." The central part of the bill is to re-name a poorly-worded post office, but it also includes an earmark to fund a rebel group against a foreign regime the government has recently come into conflict with. Wait, what?? This'll never be able to pass!](elseif: $bill4 is "false")[It's titled "An act to re-name a post office, and other matters." The beginning paragraph of the bill is still about the re-naming of the post office, but the rest is about funding two different paramilitary rebel groups in foreign countries who are very similar but for some reason still hate each other.](else:)[The bill is getting very hard to follow now, and you notice it's even been renamed. It's now called "An act to fund the budgetary defense of our international allies, seed capital into the First Bank of (text-colour:black)+(bg:red)[''COUNTRY NAME REDACTED''] and others, reform the tax code to better reflect inflationary bias, update our outdated police equipment, make our annual Ribboning festival an optional federal holiday, and other matters." Whatever, you don't really care about the contents anymore. So long as it gets passed and you can put your name on it.]]]](if: $clock is "on")[(set: $showfooter to 0)<style> tw-story { background-color: red !important; color: #000 !important; }</style>](else:)[<div class="majorityofficeimage"></div>]You enter the majority leader's office, which like your own is composed of a grand desk, a few easy chairs, and a liquor cabinet. However, every surface is bathed in a gold lacquer and the floors simply reek of opulence. (if: $clock is "on")[ The portly man emerges from the shadows. "I see that you're not actually thinking, but plotting. Bad move, kid." And with that, he shoots you in the head. <div class="deathbygunimage"></div> (if: $clockdeath is 0)[(set: $deathcount to $deathcount +1)](set: $clockdeath to $clockdeath +1) ***You Have Died*** (if: $deathcount is 7)[CONGRATULATIONS on dying as much as possible! (Sounds weird, right? Well, play silly games, win silly prizes.) I hereby grant you the title of (text-colour:black)+(bg:orange)[(text-style:"blink")[''Master of Death'']] for your trouble.] Now let's try that again, shall we? And no more making stupid, naive choices this time, hmm? [[Resurrect me I guess...|The Legislature]]](else:)[From here you can go back to the [[main room.|The Legislature]] The majority leader is sitting at his desk. He holds up a hand, stopping you before you can speak, finishes writing something on his desk, and then looks up. "Do you have your legislative calendar? I can't let you in unless I see an official legislative calendar for this body." (if: $sched is "false")[You don't have a legislative calendar on you, so you stutter for a few seconds and then fall into silence as the leader glares at you for wasting his time.](if: $sched is "true")[(link: "Show the majority leader your legislative calendar.")[You show the majority leader your legislative calendar and he seems relatively satisfied. "Okay now, what is it I can do for you?" (if: $bill3 is "true" or $bill4 is "true")[(link: "Show the majority leader your bill.")[You show the majority leader your bill with the edits made by the minority leader and he just laughs. "No, no, no, this won't do at all." And he begins scribbling on the bill. After about 5 minutes he hands it back. (set: $bill4 to "true")]](elseif: $billgotten is "true" and $billedited is "false")[(link: "Show the majority leader your bill.")[You hand the majority leader your bill. He begins to peruse it but seems unimpressed. "This bill needs to be meatier in order for it to pass in this body. Otherwise, nobody will care enough to vote on it. Here, let me edit it for you a bit..." and he hands you a revised version of your bill. (set: $billedited to "true")]](elseif: $billgotten is "false")[Since you don't have a copy of your bill with you, you stutter for a few seconds and then fall into silence as the leader glares at you for wasting his time.](else:)[Since you've already consulted the majority leader on your bill, you stutter for a few seconds and then fall into silence as the leader glares at you for wasting his time.]]]](if: $clock is "on")[(set: $showfooter to 0)<style> tw-story { background-color: red !important; color: #000 !important; }</style>](else-if: $billedited is "false")[<div class="minorityofficeclosedimage"></div>](else:)[<div class="minorityofficeimage"></div>]You enter the minority leader's office, which like your own is composed of a grand desk, a few easy chairs, and a liquor cabinet. However, every surface is bathed in a silver lacquer, and the floor has a distinct air of opulence to it.(if: $clock is "on")[ The portly man emerges from the shadows. "I see that you're not actually thinking, but plotting. Bad move, kid." And with that, he shoots you in the head. <div class="deathbygunimage"></div> (if: $clockdeath is 0)[(set: $deathcount to $deathcount +1)](set: $clockdeath to $clockdeath +1) ***You Have Died*** (if: $deathcount is 7)[CONGRATULATIONS on dying as much as possible! (Sounds weird, right? Well, play silly games, win silly prizes.) I hereby grant you the title of (text-colour:black)+(bg:orange)[(text-style:"blink")[''Master of Death'']] for your trouble.] Now let's try that again, shall we? And no more making stupid, naive choices this time, hmm? [[Resurrect me I guess...|The Legislature]]](else:)[ From here you can go back to the [[main room.|The Legislature]] The minority leader is sitting at her desk. (if: $billedited is "false")[She looks very busy at the moment. When she finally notices you she looks up and taps a small sign at the edge of her desk. "No Interruptions." Looks like you'll have to come back later.](else:)[ There is no sign anywhere; it seems like the minority leader is now available to talk. "Do you have your orientation manual with you? It's against the rules of the legislature for the minority leader to speak with someone without an official manual." (if: $man is "true" and $newman is "false")[(link: "Show your manual to the minority leader.")[You show the minority leader your manual but she frowns and shakes her head at it. "This manual is outdated! I can't accept this." "But this was the one on my desk!" you exclaim. "Someone must be playing tricks on you then. Anyway, not my problem." And she turns back to her papers.(set: $manhunt to "true") ]](elseif: $newman is "true")[(link: "Show your manual to the minority leader.")[You show the minority leader your up-to-date manual. She wrinkles her nose quite a bit from the smell but still nods her head seriously. "What can I do for you now?" (link: "Show your bill to the minority leader.")[(if: $bill4 is "true")[You show the minority leader your bill with the edits made by the majority leader and she just laughs. "No, no, no, this won't do at all." And she begins scribbling on the bill. After about 5 minutes she hands it back.](elseif: $bill3 is "false")[You hand the minority leader your bill and she almost shouts when she reads the contents. "No way will this pass the chamber this way! This is just blatantly partisan. Here, let me help you out with that," and she takes out her pencil and starts scribbling over your bill, handing it back to you after a few minutes.(set: $bill3 to "true")](else:)[You just consulted the minority leader on your bill, so she'll have no new edits if you show it to her now! You stutter for a few seconds and then fall into silence as the leader glares at you for wasting her time.]]](else:)[Having no manual to give, you simply shrug, causing the minority leader to glare at you for wasting her time as she quickly gets back to work.]]]]You arrive at the office of the chief whip, who is responsible for gathering votes on bills for the majority party. His door has a notice on it. It says "Please do not enter if you do not have a bill thoroughly reviewed by both parties." (if: $clock is "on")[(set: $showfooter to 0)<style> tw-story { background-color: red !important; color: #000 !important; }</style>The portly man emerges from the shadows. "I see that you're not actually thinking, but plotting. Bad move, kid." And with that, he shoots you in the head. <div class="deathbygunimage"></div> (if: $clockdeath is 0)[(set: $deathcount to $deathcount +1)](set: $clockdeath to $clockdeath +1) ***You Have Died*** (if: $deathcount is 7)[CONGRATULATIONS on dying as much as possible! (Sounds weird, right? Well, play silly games, win silly prizes.) I hereby grant you the title of (text-colour:black)+(bg:orange)[(text-style:"blink")[''Master of Death'']] for your trouble.] Now let's try that again, shall we? And no more making stupid, naive choices this time, hmm? [[Resurrect me I guess...|The Legislature]]](else:)[(if: $bill4 is "false")[<div class="doorclosedimage"></div>I guess you'd better just [[return to the main chamber|The Legislature]] for now.](else:)[<div class="dooropenimage"></div>(link: "Knock on the door.")[(set: $whipper to "majority") You knock on the door. It nudges opens a crack and a portly man with a cigar in his mouth appears. "What do you want?" <div class="doorcrackedimage"></div> You consider your words carefully and come up with two options for how to respond: [["Chief whip, I must say, the way I've been treated here thus far has been nothing short of atrocious! All I'm trying to do is get one simple bill passed, and for my trouble I've had my manual stuck in a toilet, had to navigate a maze of hallways, the leaders of both parties are tearing up my simple bill with irrelevant amendments, and the doors to the whips' offices have been locked down all day. I have half a mind to file a complaint and speak to HR about this mess! Please, isn't there someone here who can help me instead of hampering me with all this red tape and nonsense?"|Death by Gunshot]] [["Can you help me pass this bill?"| Majority Party Study Room]] ...or of course, there is the third option of simply walking away. ] [[Return to the main chamber.|The Legislature]]]]You arrive at the office of the minority whip, who is responsible for gathering votes on bills for the minority party. His door has a notice on it. It says "Please do not enter if you do not have a bill thoroughly reviewed by both parties." (if: $clock is "on")[(set: $showfooter to 0)<style> tw-story { background-color: red !important; color: #000 !important; }</style>The portly man emerges from the shadows. "I see that you're not actually thinking, but plotting. Bad move, kid." And with that, he shoots you in the head. <div class="deathbygunimage"></div> (if: $clockdeath is 0)[(set: $deathcount to $deathcount +1)](set: $clockdeath to $clockdeath +1) ***You Have Died*** (if: $deathcount is 7)[CONGRATULATIONS on dying as much as possible! (Sounds weird, right? Well, play silly games, win silly prizes.) I hereby grant you the title of (text-colour:black)+(bg:orange)[(text-style:"blink")[''Master of Death'']] for your trouble.] Now let's try that again, shall we? And no more making stupid, naive choices this time, hmm? [[Resurrect me I guess...|The Legislature]]](else-if: $bill4 is "false")[<div class="doorclosedimage"></div>I guess you'd better just [[return to the main chamber|The Legislature]] for now.](else:)[<div class="dooropenimage"></div>(link: "Knock on the door.")[(set: $whipper to "minority") You knock on the door. It nudges opens a crack and a portly man with a cigar in his mouth appears. "What do you want?" <div class="doorcrackedimage"></div> You consider your words carefully and come up with two options for how to respond: [["Minority whip, I must say, the way I've been treated here thus far has been nothing short of atrocious! All I'm trying to do is get one simple bill passed, and for my trouble I've had my manual stuck in a toilet, had to navigate a maze of hallways, the leaders of both parties are tearing up my simple bill with irrelevant amendments, and the doors to the whips' offices have been locked down all day. I have half a mind to file a complaint and speak to HR about this mess! Please, isn't there someone here who can help me instead of hampering me with all this red tape and nonsense?"|Death by Gunshot]] [["Can you help me pass this bill?"| Minority Party Study Room]] ...or of course, there is the third option of simply walking away. ] [[Return to the main chamber.|The Legislature]]]You choose a random twisting corridor and stroll down it. (if: $clock is "on")[There is a small placard embedded in the floor at the center of the hall here, which has been grafittied since you last saw it. It now says "Remember always to ~~Manifest Destiny~~ go the way of Tao" and shows the same image as before, but with a monk in back of the wagon facing to the right.](else:)[There is a small placard embedded in the floor at the center of the hall here. It says "Remember always to Manifest Destiny" and shows a small image of pioneer in a covered wagon going to the left.] (if: $clock is "on")[<div class="taoimage"></div>](else:)[<div class="manifestdestinyimage"></div>] There are exits in all four cardinal directions here. =><= [[north|Legislature Hallway ]] [[west|Legislature Hallway ]]&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;[[east|Legislature Hallway ]] [[south|Legislature Hallway ]] <== You can also see the door back to the [[main chamber|The Legislature]] to the northeast. You are now thoroughly lost in the halls of the enormous legislature building. There are exits in all four cardinal directions. =><= [[north|Legislature Hallway ]] [[west|Legislature Hallway ]]&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;[[east|Legislature Hallway ]] [[south|Legislature Hallway ]] <== <div class="hallwaysimage"></div>You are now thoroughly lost in the halls of the enormous legislature building. There are exits in all four cardinal directions. =><= [[north|Legislature Hallway ]] [[west|Legislature Hallway ]]&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;[[east|Legislature Hallway ]] [[south|Legislature Hallway ]] <== <div class="hallwaysimage"></div>You are now thoroughly lost in the halls of the enormous legislature building. There are exits in all four cardinal directions. =><= [[north|Legislature Hallway ]] [[west|Legislature Hallway ]]&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;[[east|Legislature Hallway ]] [[south|Legislature Hallway ]] <== <div class="hallwaysimage"></div>(set: $showfooter to 0)<style> tw-story { background-color: red !important; color: #000 !important; } </style>The portly man patiently waits till the end of your rant, then says, "Sure thing kid, we have a great complaints department!" and pulls out a gun and shoots you. <div class="deathbygunimage"></div> ***You Have Died*** (if:visit is <=1)[(set: $deathcount to $deathcount +1)(set: $complaindeath to 1)] (if: $deathcount is 7)[CONGRATULATIONS on dying as much as possible! (Sounds weird, right? Well, play silly games, win silly prizes.) I hereby grant you the title of (text-colour:black)+(bg:orange)[(text-style:"blink")[''Master of Death'']] for your trouble.] Now let's try that again, shall we? And no more making naive choices this time, hmm? (if: $whipper is "minority")[[[Resurrect me I guess...| Minority Whip's Office]]](else:)[[[Resurrect me I guess...| Chief Whip's Office]]] (set: $study to "majority")(set: $clock to "off")(set: $stungun to "no")(set: $stungunheld to 0)"Sure kid, but let's go to the study down the hall, I'm a lot more comfortable there." And with that, he struts off down the hall and you follow him to a door that's clearly locked with a special kind of keycard. He takes out said keycard and unlocks the door. Inside is an incredible sight. A good number of the politicians from the majority party are here, gabbing with one another, playing games of poker, and consuming lavish four-course meals. Tables, sofas, and chairs of all sorts pepper the expansive room. There are a few people studying some texts from the three or four small bookcases that line the walls, but most here are engaging in some form of recreation. You and the portly man choose a nice table by one of the bookcases and sit down. "Now, what was this bill you were talking about?" (link-reveal: "Show the man the bill")[ "Hmm... yes, this looks like a very promising bill indeed! I can get this passed for you without a problem, I'll be able to whip up the votes in a jiffy. All I need from you is one thing." And with that he leans in and you see a flash of fire in his eyes. "Your loyalty. I can give you all the riches you want and let you pass all the bills you need to keep you re-elected. But the one thing I require... is your undying servitude." And at these ominous words you see him shift his body to reveal the revolver he had stashed under his pants. <div class="whipinblueimage"></div> Your mind is awhirl with possibilities. Would you like to: [[Accept the offer.|Beginning of the Legislative Session]] [[Decline the offer.|Death by Gunshot ]] [[Jump up suddenly and say you have to use the bathroom.|Beaten to Death]] [[Say you're feeling ill.|Death by Poisoning]] (link: "Ask if you can have a day to think about it.")[(set: $clock to "on")You ask if you can have a day to think about it. The man considers you for a moment, looking directly into your irises in an unsettling manner. "You have three hours kid. I hope you make the right choice." And with that he shifts back in his chair and opens up a newspaper. For now, it seems you're free to [[go back to the main room.|The Legislature]]] [[Decline, but offer to sign something and ensure your silence about this.|Failure]] (link: "Actually, back up a bit. Can we rewind time in this simulation and NOT ask this creepy guy for help?")[(set: $clock to "off")(text-colour:green)[Simulation reverting. Please wait.... (live: 2s)[(goto:"The Legislature")]]]] (if: $endings is >=1 and $endexplanation is 0)[<hr /> Since you've completed this game at least once before, you've unlocked some bonus content! Check the sidebar to now view the number of living endings you've achieved, the number of gruesome deaths you've experienced, and a list of random amusing things to try. (set: $endexplanation to 1)](set: $study to "minority")(set: $clock to "off")(set: $stungun to "no")(set: $stungunheld to 0)"Sure kid, but let's go to the study room down the hall, I'm a lot more comfortable there." And with that, he struts off down the hall and you follow him to a door that's clearly locked with a special kind of keycard. He takes out said keycard and unlocks the door. Inside is an incredible sight. A good number of the politicians from the minority party are here, gabbing with one another, playing games of poker, and consuming lavish four-course meals. Tables, sofas, and chairs of all sorts pepper the expansive room. There are a few people studying some texts from the three or four small bookcases that line the walls, but most here are engaging in some form of recreation. You and the portly man choose a nice table by one of the bookcases and sit down. "Now, what was this bill you were talking about?" (link-reveal: "Show the man the bill")[ "Hmm... yes, this looks like a very promising bill indeed! I can get this passed for you without a problem, I'll be able to whip up the votes in a jiffy. All I need from you is one thing." And with that he leans in and you see a flash of fire in his eyes. "Your loyalty. I can give you all the riches you want, let you pass all the bills you need to keep you re-elected. But the one thing I require... is your undying servitude." And at these ominous words you see him shift his body to reveal the revolver he had stashed under his pants. <div class="whipinredimage"></div> Your mind is awhirl with possibilities. Would you like to: [[Accept the offer.|Beginning of the Legislative Session]] [[Decline the offer.|Death by Gunshot ]] [[Jump up suddenly and say you have to use the bathroom.|Beaten to Death]] [[Say you're feeling ill.|Death by Poisoning]] (link: "Ask if you can have a day to think about it.")[(set: $clock to "on")You ask if you can have a day to think about it. The man considers you for a moment, looking directly into your irises in an unsettling manner. "You have three hours kid. I hope you make the right choice." And with that he shifts back in his chair and opens up a newspaper. For now, it seems you're free to [[go back to the main room.|The Legislature]]] [[Decline, but offer to sign something and ensure your silence about this.|Failure]] (link: "Actually, back up a bit. Can we rewind time in this simulation and NOT ask this creepy guy for help?")[(set: $clock to "off")(text-colour:green)[Simulation reverting. Please wait.... (live: 2s)[(goto:"The Legislature")]]]] (if: $endings is >=1 and $endexplanation is 0)[<hr /> Since you've completed this game at least once before, you've unlocked some bonus content! Check the sidebar to now view the number of living endings you've achieved, the number of gruesome deaths you've experienced, and a list of random amusing things to try. (set: $endexplanation to 1)]You are now thoroughly lost in the halls of the enormous legislature building. There are exits in all four cardinal directions. =><= [[north|Legislature Hallway ]] [[west|Bathroom]]&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;[[east|Legislature Hallway ]] [[south|Legislature Hallway ]] <== <div class="hallwaysimage"></div>You finally (if:visit is <= 1)[find](else:)[make it to] the bathroom. There are only three stalls here, despite the size of the legislature. <div class="bathroomimage"></div> (if: $stungun is "yes")[Okay, the secret passage has to be here somewhere. You searched here before but there were still some things you didn't try... let's see... (link: "Try flushing the toilets?")[You flush the toilets, but nothing else happens.] (link: "Try using the sinks?")[You turn all the sinks on and off. All seem to work normally except one, which isn't working. (link: "Try unscrewing the unworking sink handle?")[You unscrew the unworking sink handle but nothing happens. You screw it back on.]] (link: "Try closing the door and turning off the lights")[You close the door and turn off the lights. Nothing happens for a solid minute, and then a panel opens up in the back wall of the bathroom, revealing a stairwell. [[Take the stairwell.|Whip's Office]]] ](elseif: $manfound is "true" and $newman is "false")[You don't find the orientation manual anywhere on the floor or under anything, unlike you were told... hmm... where could it be? (link: "Search behind the mirror.")[You open the mirrors and look behind them but nothing is there.] (link: "Search behind the stalls.")[You open every stall but nothing is in there.] (link: "Search in the toilets.")[You peer into the toilets and groan. Of. Course. You, unfortunately, find and pick up the current version of the orientation manual. Gross. (set: $newman to "true")]](else-if:visit is <= 1)[Huh! Interesting. So the little placard in the floor leading you through the hallways was leading you west to the bathroom. You suppose that's a good thing to remember, but you don't need to go right now, so not much to do here.] [[Return to the main chamber.|The Legislature]]You are now thoroughly lost in the halls of the enormous legislature building. There are exits in all four cardinal directions. =><= [[north|Legislature Hallway ]] [[west|Legislature Hallway ]]&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;[[east|Legislature Hallway ]] [[south|Legislature Hallway ]] <== <div class="hallwaysimage"></div>You are now thoroughly lost in the halls of the enormous legislature building. There are exits in all four cardinal directions. =><= [[north|Legislature Hallway ]] [[west|Legislature Hallway ]]&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;[[east|Strange Metal Door]] [[south|Legislature Hallway ]] <== <div class="hallwaysimage"></div>As you make your way to the very end of this long eastern hallway, you suddenly realize you are quite hot. You have somehow travelled deep beneath the surface of the earth. (if: $clock is "off")[You now find yourself in front of a very strange-looking metal door. <div class="metaldoorclosedimage"></div> You try the handle of the door, but it's locked tight and won't budge. Strange... what on earth could this door be for? The only way to go from here is back up to the [[main room.|The Legislature]]](else-if: $stungun is "yes")[You now find yourself once again in front of the very strange-looking metal door. <div class="metaldoorclosedimage"></div> You try the handle of the door, but it's locked tight and won't budge. If anyone can hear you on the other side, they aren't coming to open it for you. The only way to go from here is back up to the [[main room.|The Legislature]]](else:)[You now find yourself in front of a very strange-looking metal door, which slides open like a door from Star Trek just as you approach. "Psst" you hear a voice from inside the door. "It's safe in here. Come on. Quickly!" <div class="metaldooropenimage"></div> Would you like to [[go through the door|Hidden Underground Bunker]] or go back to [[the main chamber?|The Legislature]]](set: $showfooter to 0)<style> tw-story { background-color: aqua !important; color: #000 !important; } </style>The portly man grins wide and extends his right hand. "Welcome to the team," he says with relish, and you cringe at the implications of the decision you just made. ------- The next few weeks pass by astonishingly fast as the last touches are put on your bill by both parties and the portly man invites you to all the weekly golf games and barbecues. (if: $stungun is "yes")[After telling the Whip about Representative (text-colour:black)+(bg:red)[''REBEL NAME REDACTED''], he said he would take care of it, and you haven't seen or heard from her since.] Soon you find yourself presenting your bill to the chamber at the beginning of the legislative session, to a round of applause from your manufactured supporters, and boos and hisses from your manufactured detractors. The next years pass by much like the years before. You are re-elected over and over without much fuss, thanks to the influx of cash flowing from the pockets of the portly man as well as the impressive laundry list of bills you've passed. You get on late night talk shows and share dinners with celebrities, and even pose for some modeling magazines. You have accomplished everything you ever set out to do. But every night you lie awake for hours, against the wishes of your sleeping pills, avoiding the nightmares sleep would surely bring. You wonder every second of every day if there might have been another way. ***You Have Passed A Bill, But At What Cost?*** (if: $sadfuture is 0)[(if: $endings is 1)[(set: $endings to 2)Congratulations on finding yourself an ending!! There's just one more living ending for you to find, as well as seven different ways for you to die in total. Happy hunting!](else-if: $endings is 2)[(set: $endings to 3)CONGRATULATIONS on getting all three endings in this game!! Gosh, that must have taken a while. I hereby grant you the title of (text-style:"fade-in-out")[(text-colour:purple)[''Master of Politics'']] for your trouble.](else-if: $endings is 3)[CONGRATULATIONS on getting all three endings in this game!! Gosh, that must have taken a while. I hereby grant you the title of (text-style:"fade-in-out")[(text-colour:purple)[''Master of Politics'']] for your trouble.](else:)[(set: $endings to 1)Congratulations on finding yourself an ending!! But did you know that there are two more living endings for you to find, as well as seven different ways for you to die? Restart to try to find them all!]](else:)[(if: $endings is 1)[Congratulations on finding yourself an ending!! But did you know that there are two more living endings for you to find, as well as seven different ways for you to die? Restart to try to find them all!](else-if: $endings is 2)[Congratulations on finding yourself an ending!! There's just one more living ending for you to find, as well as seven different ways for you to die in total. Happy hunting!](else-if: $endings is 3)[CONGRATULATIONS on getting all three endings in this game!! Gosh, that must have taken a while. I hereby grant you the title of (text-style:"fade-in-out")[(text-colour:purple)[''Master of Politics'']] for your trouble.]] (set: $sadfuture to 1) (if: $deathcount is 7)[Congratulations also on dying as much as possible! (Sounds weird, right? Well, play silly games, win silly prizes.) I hereby grant you the title of (text-colour:black)+(bg:red)[(text-style:"blink")[''Master of Death'']] for your trouble. ]Would you like to (if: $finaloffice is 1)[[[undo your last turn|Whip's Office]]](else-if: $study is "minority")[[[undo your last turn| Minority Party Study Room]]](else:)[[[undo your last turn| Majority Party Study Room]]], end the game for now and view the [[acknowledgements|Acknowledgements]], or [[restart|Climbing the Steps of the Legislature]]?(set: $showfooter to 0)<style> tw-story { background-color: red !important; color: #000 !important; } </style>You spring to your feet and claim you have to go to the bathroom. You don't even wait for an answer as you high-tail it to the door of the room. However, you've forgotton about the other politicians. Three of the most athletic ones block your way out. You put up your dukes. But it's no use, three against one. You are soon being pummeled from head to toe and writhing on the floor. They do not let up. <div class="deathbyfistimage"></div> ***You Have Died*** (if:visit is <=1)[(set: $deathcount to $deathcount +1)(set: $beatdeath to 1)] (if: $deathcount is 7)[CONGRATULATIONS on dying as much as possible! (Sounds weird, right? Well, play silly games, win silly prizes.) I hereby grant you the title of (text-colour:black)+(bg:orange)[(text-style:"blink")[''Master of Death'']] for your trouble.] Now let's try that again, shall we? And no more making naive choices this time, hmm? (if: $study is "minority")[[[Resurrect me I guess...| Minority Party Study Room]]](else:)[[[Resurrect me I guess...| Majority Party Study Room]]](set: $showfooter to 0)<style> tw-story { background-color: red !important; color: #000 !important; } </style>The portly man rolls his eyes. "Ill, huh? Suddenly very, very ill? Well it just so happens we have some medicine on hand to help out with cases like yours," and he snaps his fingers. One of the politicians rushes over to him and asks him if he needs anything. "Thanks John, just need one of the pills if you don't mind," and the man reluctantly hands him a yellow capsule from his pocket. The portly man tuts in disapproval. "Now, now, John, you know the drill. Open the kid's mouth please." And John glumly wrenches your mouth open as you struggle. The portly man gets up with a small grunt and drops the capsule in your mouth. In minutes you are writhing on the floor choking for air as the poison works its way through your blood. The last words you hear as the light fades from your eyes are "There goes another one, John. Can't blame it on a drive-by this time. I suppose we'll have to drag the kid back to their room and stage the scene... I'll get the trash bags..." <div class="deathbypoisonimage"></div> ***You Have Died*** (if:visit is <=1)[(set: $deathcount to $deathcount +1)(set: $poisondeath to 1)] (if: $deathcount is 7)[CONGRATULATIONS on dying as much as possible! (Sounds weird, right? Well, play silly games, win silly prizes.) I hereby grant you the title of (text-colour:black)+(bg:orange)[(text-style:"blink")[''Master of Death'']] for your trouble.] Now let's try that again, shall we? And no more making naive choices this time, hmm? (if: $study is "minority")[[[Resurrect me I guess...| Minority Party Study Room]]](else:)[[[Resurrect me I guess...| Majority Party Study Room]]](set: $showfooter to 0)<style> tw-story { background-color: gray !important; color: #000 !important; } </style>The man grins. "Astonishing! Someone with both integrity and common sense! Well, I must say, I salute you, kid. I don't quite understand you, but I salute you. I'll have our lawyers draft up the paperwork right away. Of course, you'll have to resign from office in disgrace. Can't have any mavericks messing up our operation here, you understand," and he snaps his fingers for one of the politicians, who is sent to fetch the lawyers... ----- The next few weeks pass by quickly. You resign from office claiming that you want to spend more time with your family, to the whisperings and bewilderment of your constituents. You walk down the steps of the building that you were (despite yourself) so excited about just a few weeks ago and wonder if there might have possibly been another way... You shrug off the feeling. What's done is done, and you didn't really feel like learning any more about this horrid business anyway. You'll have to find a new way to serve your community. Maybe you can start a business, or work at a non-profit, or just spend some time volunteering? Anything has to be better than this. ***You Have Failed To Pass a Bill*** (if: $samefuture is 0)[(if: $endings is 1)[(set: $endings to 2)Congratulations on finding yourself an ending!! There's just one more living ending for you to find, as well as seven different ways for you to die in total. Happy hunting!](else-if: $endings is 2)[(set: $endings to 3)CONGRATULATIONS on getting all three endings in this game!! Gosh, that must have taken a while. I hereby grant you the title of (text-style:"fade-in-out")[(text-colour:purple)[''Master of Politics'']] for your trouble.](else-if: $endings is 3)[CONGRATULATIONS on getting all three endings in this game!! Gosh, that must have taken a while. I hereby grant you the title of (text-style:"fade-in-out")[(text-colour:purple)[''Master of Politics'']] for your trouble.](else:)[(set: $endings to 1)Congratulations on finding yourself an ending!! But did you know that there are two more living endings for you to find, as well as seven different ways for you to die? Restart to try to find them all!]](else:)[(if: $endings is 1)[Congratulations on finding yourself an ending!! But did you know that there are two more living endings for you to find, as well as seven different ways for you to die? Restart to try to find them all!](else-if: $endings is 2)[Congratulations on finding yourself an ending!! There's just one more living ending for you to find, as well as seven different ways for you to die in total. Happy hunting!](else-if: $endings is 3)[CONGRATULATIONS on getting all three endings in this game!! Gosh, that must have taken a while. I hereby grant you the title of (text-style:"fade-in-out")[(text-colour:purple)[''Master of Politics'']] for your trouble.]] (set: $samefuture to 1) (if: $deathcount is 7)[Congratulations also on dying as much as possible! (Sounds weird, right? Well, play silly games, win silly prizes.) I hereby grant you the title of (text-colour:black)+(bg:red)[(text-style:"blink")[''Master of Death'']] for your trouble. ]Would you like to (if: $study is "minority")[[[undo your last turn| Minority Party Study Room]]](else:)[[[undo your last turn| Majority Party Study Room]]], end the game for now and view the [[acknowledgements|Acknowledgements]], or [[restart|Climbing the Steps of the Legislature]]?(set: $showfooter to 0)<style> tw-story { background-color: red !important; color: #000 !important; } </style>The portly man nods his head smartly, says, "Hope your integrity was worth it, kid!" and shoots you with the revolver. <div class="deathbygunimage"></div> ***You Have Died*** (if:visit is <=1)[(set: $deathcount to $deathcount +1)(set: $gundeath to 1)] (if: $deathcount is 7)[CONGRATULATIONS on dying as much as possible! (Sounds weird, right? Well, play silly games, win silly prizes.) I hereby grant you the title of (text-colour:black)+(bg:orange)[(text-style:"blink")[''Master of Death'']] for your trouble.] Now let's try that again, shall we? And no more making naive choices this time, hmm? (if: $study is "minority")[[[Resurrect me I guess...| Minority Party Study Room]]](else:)[[[Resurrect me I guess...| Majority Party Study Room]]](set: $stungun to "yes")You enter the door and emerge into the strangest room you have ever seen. Half of it looks to be a mad scientist's laboratory, with strange concoctions bubbling in vials, robotic equipment strewn over a workbench, and a complex monitor system showing all the rooms in the building. The other half looks to be a survivalist's warehouse, complete with canned goods, first aid equipment, sleeping supplies, a shelf of guidebooks, and a small armory of weapons, some very futuristic looking and others just simple handguns. The door hisses shut behind you at the same time as a figure emerges from behind a column at the back of the room. You recognize her instantly. <div class="Streeterimage"></div> "Representative (text-colour:black)+(bg:red)[''REBEL NAME REDACTED'']!" you cry in shock. And much reason you have to be shocked too - Representative (text-colour:black)+(bg:red)[''REBEL NAME REDACTED''] was your predecessor from your district, who by all public accounts died while climbing the trecherous (text-colour:black)+(bg:red)[''MOUNTAINS NAME REDACTED''] last year. "Yes. I've been watching your progress, to see if you were the one I thought you were. You did not disappoint." The ghost of a smile tugs at her lips. "I went through much the same trials as you have so far. But when the whip gave me MY ultimatum, I came up with a plan. "I think they underestimated me," (text-colour:black)+(bg:red)[''REBEL NAME REDACTED''] admits. "After all, I was only a science teacher before getting elected. So when I fled to the (text-colour:black)+(bg:red)[''MOUNTAINS NAME REDACTED''] and managed to fake my own death by bribing police officers, they took it at face value." She scratches her chin. "Strange for the whip to be so unsuspecting when he's faked so many deaths of his own..." She claps her hands suddenly. "But enough of that now. We're out of time. I need you to do something for me. I have done enough geological testing to determine there is a secret passageway above the bathroom here. From the seismic wave patterns I've determined it must lead directly to the office of the whip. I want you to go in there and shoot him with this." She hands you what looks like a futuristic stun gun. "It will make it look like he had a heart attack. "If he sees me out and about he'll shoot me on sight. But you have enough leeway to get to the bathroom. Once there, you'll be able to surprise him, or hide if he's not yet there. "This is the most important decision you've ever had to make. Are you with me?" (link: "Say yes.")[(set: $stungunheld to 1)You nod your head in agreement and (text-colour:black)+(bg:red)[''REBEL NAME REDACTED''] beams, suddenly ecstatic. "Excellent then. Good luck on your mission, and may we see each other soon on the other side!" And with that, she rushes to the back of the column to press the button which opens the strange metal door. From here, you can now head back to [[the main chamber.|The Legislature]]] [[Actually, no.|Death by Zapping]] (set: $showfooter to 0)<style> tw-story { background-color: red !important; color: #000 !important; } </style>(text-colour:black)+(bg:red)[''REBEL NAME REDACTED''] nods sympathetically. "I understand. It is a tough thing to ask of a person. But this is important, you understand - it is likely the only way the people of (text-colour:black)+(bg:red)[''COUNTRY NAME REDACTED''] will ever gain power again. "So I hope you'll understand why I can't risk you running off and telling the whip about me." You register what's going to happen a split second before it does. You manage to lift your stun gun to aim it at (text-colour:black)+(bg:red)[''REBEL NAME REDACTED''], but not before she zaps you with a laser death ray of her own. You feel your body disintegrating into the ground. <div class="deathbyzapimage"></div> ***You Have Died*** (if:visit is <=1)[(set: $deathcount to $deathcount +1)(set: $zapdeath to 1)] (if: $deathcount is 7)[CONGRATULATIONS on dying as much as possible! (Sounds weird, right? Well, play silly games, win silly prizes.) I hereby grant you the title of (text-colour:black)+(bg:orange)[(text-style:"blink")[''Master of Death'']] for your trouble.] Now let's try that again, shall we? And no more making naive choices this time, hmm? [[Resurrect me I guess...|Hidden Underground Bunker]](set: $finaloffice to 1)You climb the stairs to the whip's office. As soon as you are through the passageway, the back wall of the office closes behind you. There is no immediately discernible means to escape back to the bathroom. The whole office is covered in red velvet and diamonds. It must be the most opulent office in the building, which is saying something considering the other offices you've seen. As in the other offices, there is a grand desk, chairs, and a liquor cabinet here. There is also an intriguing-looking filing cabinet over in the corner. <div class="whipofficeimage"></div> The whip is not back in his office yet. [[Go through the filing cabinet?|Death by Stabbing]] (link: "Examine the liquor cabinet?")[You take a look at the liquor cabinet and suddenly realize that it is absolutely enormous, big enough to fit a person inside. Do you want to hide in the liquor cabinet? [[Yes|The Liquor Cabinet]] [[No|Death by Stabbing]]] [[Stand and wait for the whip in the middle of the office?|Death by Stabbing]] (link: "Actually, back up a bit. Can we rewind time in this simulation and NOT get trapped in here? I REALLY want to go back to the bathroom.")[(text-colour:green)[Simulation reverting. Please wait.... (live: 2s)[(go-to: "Bathroom")]]] (if: $endings is >=1 and $endexplanation is 0)[<hr /> Since you've completed this game at least once before, you've unlocked some bonus content! Check the sidebar to now view the number of living endings you've achieved, the number of gruesome deaths you've experienced, and a list of random amusing things to try. (set: $endexplanation to 1)] (set: $showfooter to 0)<style> tw-story { background-color: red !important; color: #000 !important; } </style>The whip enters and immediately sees you standing in his office brandishing a weapon. Before you can ready the stun gun, he grabs a small knife from a heretofore-unseen nightstand right by the door and throws it into your eye. <div class="deathbystabimage"></div> ***You Have Died*** (if:visit is <=1)[(set: $deathcount to $deathcount +1)(set: $stabdeath to 1)] (if: $deathcount is 7)[CONGRATULATIONS on dying as much as possible! (Sounds weird, right? Well, play silly games, win silly prizes.) I hereby grant you the title of (text-colour:black)+(bg:orange)[(text-style:"blink")[''Master of Death'']] for your trouble.] Now let's try that again, shall we? And no more making naive choices this time, hmm? [[Resurrect me I guess...|Whip's Office]](set: $showfooter to 0)<style> tw-story { background-color: yellow !important; color: #000 !important; } </style>You take aim from inside the liquor cabinet and shoot the portly man straight in the torso. He falls to the ground, instantly dead. You leave the cabinet and manage to find what looks like a light switch right beside the back wall of the room. It of course turns out to be the switch that operates the secret passage, which you take back down to the bathroom before anyone's the wiser... ------------ The next few weeks are chaos in the legislature. As the media mourns the passing of the chief and minority whips (who they fail to comprehend were the exact same person), most of the bribed and blackmailed politicians try to perpetuate the status quo. However, after a week or so, several of the braver ones leak anonymous tell-all memoirs to the press. Most of these tomes admit they were bribed, blackmailed, and threatened by the former whip. Some even make wild accusations about murder and violence. Nobody points the finger at you, though. The less reputable politicians try to refute these memoirs and seize power for themselves. But once the books are out there, the public grows suspicious. They decide to clean house in the next election cycle, and almost none of the incumbents retain their seats. This gave you quite a nice excuse to not run for re-election. You really didn't want to be in this job anymore anyway, and given the circumstances, it's probably best that you stay out of the public eye. Still, the political winds seem to be shifting, and a new, uncorrupted class of representatives will be taking the wheel. Representative (text-colour:black)+(bg:red)[''REBEL NAME REDACTED''] manages to flee the legislative building after you leave office, and she gives you her encrypted, private cell number to keep in touch. But you're not entirely sure you will. Last you heard she was off doing cancer research in a land far far removed from (text-colour:black)+(bg:red)[''COUNTRY NAME REDACTED'']. As for you? Well. You may not have passed a bill, and you may wake up in a cold sweat every now and again... but you always manage to go back to sleep soon after with some reassurance that the world might be a bit better off now thanks to you. ***You have failed to pass a bill, but you have succeeded in making a difference*** (if: $happyfuture is 0)[(if: $endings is 1)[(set: $endings to 2)Congratulations on finding yourself an ending!! There's just one more living ending for you to find, as well as seven different ways for you to die in total. Happy hunting!](else-if: $endings is 2)[(set: $endings to 3)CONGRATULATIONS on getting all three endings in this game!! Gosh, that must have taken a while. I hereby grant you the title of (text-style:"fade-in-out")[(text-colour:purple)[''Master of Politics'']] for your trouble.](else-if: $endings is 3)[CONGRATULATIONS on getting all three endings in this game!! Gosh, that must have taken a while. I hereby grant you the title of (text-style:"fade-in-out")[(text-colour:purple)[''Master of Politics'']] for your trouble.](else:)[(set: $endings to 1)Congratulations on finding yourself an ending!! But did you know that there are two more living endings for you to find, as well as seven different ways for you to die? Restart to try to find them all!]](else:)[(if: $endings is 1)[Congratulations on finding yourself an ending!! But did you know that there are two more living endings for you to find, as well as seven different ways for you to die? Restart to try to find them all!](else-if: $endings is 2)[Congratulations on finding yourself an ending!! There's just one more living ending for you to find, as well as seven different ways for you to die in total. Happy hunting!](else-if: $endings is 3)[CONGRATULATIONS on getting all three endings in this game!! Gosh, that must have taken a while. I hereby grant you the title of (text-style:"fade-in-out")[(text-colour:purple)[''Master of Politics'']] for your trouble.]] (set: $happyfuture to 1) (if: $deathcount is 7)[Congratulations also on dying as much as possible! (Sounds weird, right? Well, play silly games, win silly prizes.) I hereby grant you the title of (text-colour:black)+(bg:red)[(text-style:"blink")[''Master of Death'']] for your trouble. ](if: $deathcount is 0)[I see that you've also made it through the entire game without dying even once! That is quite an accomplishment. I hereby give you the title of (text-style:"fade-in-out")[(text-colour:magenta)[''Master of Life'']] for this achievement. ]Would you like to [[undo your last turn|Whip's Office]], end the game for now and view the [[acknowledgements|Acknowledgements]], or [[restart|Climbing the Steps of the Legislature]]?You are now thoroughly lost in the halls of the enormous legislature building. There are exits in all four cardinal directions. =><= [[north|The Legislature]] [[west|Legislature Hallway ]]&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;[[east|Legislature Hallway ]] [[south|The Legislature]] <== <div class="hallwaysimage"></div>(set: $showfooter to 0)My name is Leo Weinreb. I produced all the language and images you see in this game, so I'm the one to blame if you love it or hate it or meh it. You can tell me so yourself or give me any other kind of feedback you want by messaging me at https://intfiction.org/u/leoweinreb/summary. Visit my profile at https://lweinreb.itch.io to see the other interactive fiction I've written. A very special thanks to my parents, Tony Bures and Jenya Weinreb, for supporting and continuing to support me with all my interactive fiction adventures. <3 Super special thanks also to my other wonderful beta-testers, who gave me great feedback and helped polish to the last minute so I could get this out the door: Tony Bures Jenya Weinreb Mike Russo Noah Si The initial idea for this game began several years ago and I wrote much of it back then, around 2022 or so. I hope it still holds up - I think it does pretty well. This is also my first foray into creating and inserting images in text games. I think most of them turned out pretty well, especially for having done all of them in Preview on Mac. But obviously since this style is pretty cartoonish I can get away with it a bit more. If I want to start doing art that actually looks good, I'll have to either get better software or get a design partner for my games. I'm open to suggestions for both! (link-undo: "Click here to go back to the game.")(set: $showfooter to 0)You have achieved (print: $endings) of 3 possible endings! Here's what you've done so far:(if: (visited: "Failure") is true)[ (text-colour:black)+(bg:gray)[Under the crushing grip of the whip, you signed away your soul in exchange for your life, resigning your seat in the legislature and allowing the corrupt system to continue as normal. On top of all that, you failed to pass even a single bill into law.]](if: (visited: "Beginning of the Legislative Session") is true)[ (text-colour:black)+(bg:navy)[Determined to complete your task no matter the cost, you joined forces with the whip and managed to pass an absurdly earmarked and thoroughly useless bill into law. You are now at the beck and call of a corrupt, murderous villain and have become wildly rich and successful.]](if: (visited: "A New Era Dawns") is true)[ (text-colour:black)+(bg:yellow)[With the help of a mysterious rebel force, you murdered the whip, freeing the legislature from his grasp and allowing the truth to come out in the open. Despite being run out of office by angry voters and failing to pass a single bill into law, the world will forever be a different place thanks to you, and hopefully it will be for the better.]] (if: $endings is 3)[(t8n:"rumble")[Congratulations on getting all three endings! Gosh, that must have taken a while. I hereby grant you the title of (text-style:"fade-in-out")[(text-colour:purple)[''Master of Politics'']] for your trouble.]] (link-undo: "Click here to go back to the game.")(set: $showfooter to 0)You have died (print: $deathcount) out of a possible 7 different ways. Here are your gruesome demises so far: (if: $gundeath is 1)[ <div class="deathbygunimage"></div>You have been shot in the face for standing up for what you believe in.](if: $complaindeath is 1)[ <div class="deathbygunimage"></div>You have been shot in the face for whining too much.](if: $clockdeath is >=1)[ <div class="deathbygunimage"></div>You have been shot in the face for plotting a coup.](if: $beatdeath is 1)[ <div class="deathbyfistimage"></div>You have been pummeled to death for having to pee.](if: $poisondeath is 1)[ <div class="deathbypoisonimage"></div>You have been force-fed poison for having stomach poisoning.](if: $stabdeath is 1)[ <div class="deathbystabimage"></div>You have been stabbed in the eye for breaking and entering.](if: $zapdeath is 1)[ <div class="deathbyzapimage"></div>You have been zapped with a death ray for toeing the company line when the revolution came.] (if: $deathcount is 7)[Congratulations on dying as much as possible! (Sounds weird, right? Well, play silly games, win silly prizes.) I hereby grant you the title of (text-colour:black)+(bg:red)[(text-style:"blink")[''Master of Death'']] for your trouble.] (link-undo: "Click here to go back to the game.") (set: $showfooter to 0)(text-colour:green)[(t8n: "fade")[Initiating simulation...] (t8n: "instant")+(t8n-delay: 0.8s)[Gathering external data to enrich world...] (t8n: "instant")+(t8n-delay: 1.6s)[Redacting confidential information...] (t8n: "instant")+(t8n-delay: 2.4s)[Loading...] (t8n: "instant")+(t8n-delay: 2.8s)[Loading...] (t8n: "instant")+(t8n-delay: 3.2s)[Loading...]] (t8n: "instant")+(t8n-delay: 4s)[(text-colour:red)[''TRIGGER WARNING:'' blood, violence, many colors, flashing GIFs]] (t8n: "instant")+(t8n-delay: 4s)[(text-colour:orange)[Note that the following simulation may also contain: references to politics, sardonic apathy, verbosity, an enticing and easy-to-use hint system that could accidentally spoil everything, and questionable humor. Gamers be advised.] [[Simulation ready. New representative has just been voted in. Enter if you dare.|Climbing the Steps of the Legislature]]] (if: $hints is 1 and $showfooter is 1)[(append: ?sidebar)[ (align: "=><=")+(text-size: 0.75)[(text-colour:green)+(hover-style:(text-colour:purple))[(link-repeat: "Hints")[(dialog: [(if: (visited:"The Legislature") is false)[Seriously? We're right at the beginning and you're asking for a hint? Just play the game!](else-if: $billgotten is "false")[You’ll need to find the bill you’re working on before you can pass it.](else-if: $sched is "false")[Have you been to your desk yet? If so, have you picked up anything from it?](else-if: $billedited is "false")[You need to show your bill to someone in order to improve it. There should be one person available…](else-if: $man is "false")[There’s something else on your desk you need to pick up.](else-if: $manhunt is "false")[Well, your bill's been edited, but it needs a little more work. Is there anybody else who can help you now?](else-if: $manfound is "false")[You need a new manual! But leadership can’t be bothered to help you find it, and the whips are still unavailable. Who’s left?](else-if: $newman is "false")[You need to navigate the maze of hallways to find the bathroom. Think very carefully about the Manifest Destiny sign on the floor before the maze. Which direction is the pioneer going and which direction do the words ‘manifest destiny’ seem to suggest? Keep going that direction and don’t let up!](else-if: $bill3 is "false")[Remember why you were trying to get the manual to begin with. Who do you need to talk to about your bill?](else-if: $bill4 is "false")[The majority probably won’t like what the minority had to say about your bill. Should they be informed somehow?](else-if: $study is 0)[Okay, this is getting you nowhere. Maybe there’s a third party who’s available now?](else-if: $clock is "off")[Okay now, you’ll have to think carefully about your dealings with this whip. If you do something too suspicious or act offensively, he isn’t the kind of man to let that slide.](else-if: $stungun is "no")[Okay, you’re still alive for now, but there’s only so many places you can go that aren’t suspicious. If you go back to the maze of hallways, is anything different? Does it suggest a different direction to go in?](else-if: $study is not "over")[You’ll have to go back to the bathroom. You remember how to get to the bathroom right? Once you’re in there, make sure to investigate thoroughly.](else:)[You need a place to hide, and only one place is big enough. The rest is up to you!]], "OK")]] (text-colour:green)+(hover-style:(text-colour:purple))[(link-repeat: "Inventory")[(dialog:[You are carrying:<br />(if: $billgotten is "true")[A bill.<br />](if: $sched is "true")[A legislative calendar, whose contents you've already memorized.<br />](if: $man is "true")[A (if: $newman is "true")[new, smelly orientation] manual, whose contents are exceedingly unimportant.<br />](if: $stungunheld is 1)[A futuristic stungun, programmed to mimic a heart attack and perfect for performing covert coup d'etats.<br />](if: $bill4 is "true")[The remains of your dignity.](else:)[Your dignity.]], "OK")]] (text-colour:green)+(hover-style:(text-colour:purple))[[[About|Acknowledgements]]] (if: $endings is >=1)[(text-colour:green)+(hover-style:(text-colour:purple))[[[Endings|Endings]]] (text-colour:green)+(hover-style:(text-colour:purple))[[[Deaths|Deaths]]] (text-colour:green)+(hover-style:(text-colour:purple))[[Amusing|Amusements]]]] ]] (set: $showfooter to 1)Have you tried... * Reading the bill at your office as many times as you can, after each iteration of it? * Reading the legislative calendar and the orientation manual while they're still on your desk? * Asking your fellow representatives about their days? * Asking your fellow representatives when the legislative session begins? * Interacting with your fellow representatives in both the majority AND the minority chambers? * Finding the bathroom before the game tells you there is a bathroom? * Interacting with both the minority whip AND the chief whip? * Ranting at the whip? * Telling the whip you have to use the bathroom? * Telling the whip you're sick? * Making a deal with the whip? * (visited: "Hidden Underground Bunker")[Going east within the hallways before the placard gets graffitied?](else:)[Going different directions in the twisting hallways?] * Interacting with the simulation in the main room towards the end of the game? * Resetting the browser history and playing the entire game without dying once? (link-undo: "Click here to go back to the game.")You are hiding in the liquor cabinet when the portly Whip enters the room. Through a crack in the door you are fairly certain that you have a nice aim directly at the man's torso. This is your last chance! [[Shoot the man|A New Era Dawns]] [[Drop your weapon, exit the cabinet, surrender to the whip and tell all.|Beginning of the Legislative Session]] (link: "Actually, back up a bit. Can we rewind time in this simulation and NOT hide in the liquor cabinet? I want to try something else.")[(text-colour:green)[Simulation reverting. Please wait.... (live: 2s)[(undo:)]]]