(link-storylet: where its name contains "Evening.", "Evening.") The (link-storylet: where its name contains "university", "university")'s (link-storylet: where its name contains "archives", "archives"). And you, the humble librarian.(click-replace: "librarian.")[librarian's assistant(click-append: "assistant")['s intern.]] (if: (open-storylets: where its tags contains "expo")'s length <=0)[(track: 'door', 'play')(track: 'heels', 'play')(track: 'heels', 'fadeto', 7, 0)Wait... What was that? You hear the door open.. [[Continue->Visitor]]] (set: $health to 100) (track: 'library-music', 'playwhenpossible')(storylet: when (history:) does not contain "Evening.")Outside, the cicadas have begun their hazy, smoggy song. The smell of cedar needles spice the syrupy air. You know in your heart all those nice things are happening outside. But you can't experience any of it, because you're in a library. White fluorescents buzz above. *It is Compline*, a small voice in your head says. [[Return ->Codex Crusade]](storylet: when (history:) does not contain "university")Ah, the illustrious University of Turin. The jewel of Turin, Georgia. You have spent your summer working in the library here at the university, stocking shelves, shooing out horny teenagers, and patiently listening to the genealogical ramblings of the elderly looking for records about Great-Auntie Millie. That said, you've been lead to believe that the university has an excellent animal husbandry program and has produced outstanding research in the field of chicken-rearin'. [[Return->Codex Crusade]]You reach the desk of the library. The door should have been locked. Patrons aren't allowed in the library after 7pm. But there, leaning on the desk, is a woman. She's dressed all in checker-print, with a jockey cap on. Her chin is absurdly pointed and her lacquered lips are in a permanent smirk. Beside her is an orange cat(click: "cat")[(track: 'meow', 'play')] the size of a boar. Two pairs of green eyes with slitted pupils stare at you, [[expectantly->Speak]]. (storylet: when (history:) does not contain "archives")As you understand it, an elderly person from the venerable House of Manutius donated a collection of Aldine manuscripts to the University of Turin. In a rare moment of go-getter chutzpah, the university dean sent a lawyer to make sure that the correct mistakes were made. And now the largest collection of medieval, Renaissance, and occult texts in the world is in a town of 271 people. And the real bitch of it all? You still haven't been allowed to go down into the archives. [[Return ->Codex Crusade]] (link-reveal: "You open your mouth.")[ "(prompt: [*What should I say?*], "Uhhh...", "Stammer", "Speak")" The smirk on the woman's face switches sides. She pulls a small [[piece of paper]] out of her bag and sets it down on the desk. "I need you to get me a book." [[Continue->Quest]]]Without thinking, you move to grab the paper. (track:'chirrup','play')(track:'error','play')The cat objects. With a swat. "Don't mind the Akashic records," the woman whispers, "But don't reach for my things again." You nurse your bleeding hand. [[Return->Speak2]] (set: $health to it - 5)"My name is Seguier. An ancestor of mine mistakenly donated a book to this library. If you can reclaim it for me, I'd be most grateful." You consider: >>"[[What book?]]" >>"[[That's not my job.]]" >>"[[What's the cat's deal?]]""As I was saying," the woman continues. Next to her, the Akashic records jumps up onto the desk. It sits on top of the rectangular paper, despite the obvious size difference. You are distracted by the cuteness. *You have been asked to find a book*, says a voice in your head... a languid and silky one. The Akashic records' tail twitches in amusement. [[Continue ->Quest]]"Whatever book you want," Seguier says with a smile(click-replace: "smile")[smirk]. "Are you familiar with Aristotle's *On Generation and Corruption*? Or the programming of Dan Oliver out of Scottsdale, Arizona?" You answer. (click: "answer")[(dialog: bind _answer, "She waits for your answer.", "No", "Yes") (if: _answer is "Yes")["Then you are familiar with the text I am looking for. All texts. For all time. And if you retrieve it for me, I am prepared to offer you a reward." [["What reward?"]]] (if: _answer is "No")["No matter. I am looking for all books, all texts. An infinite generation mix of letters, in one constantly replenishing codex. And if you find it, I am prepared to offer a reward." [["What reward?"]]]]Seguier looks at you. Her smirk fades. "What an... *interesting* choice." *An interesting choice indeed,* a voice echoes in your head. Its silky tones start seeping into each fold of your mind, suffocating your thoughts. You [[faint]]. (after: 3s)[(track:'thud','play')] "Cat? What-- oh! I see. How droll. No, this is the Akashic record. Imagine an aether of all of humanity's knowledge, compiled in a readily accessible---" "Oh! It's an AI. An AI with a cat GUI for accessibility and broad market appeal. Okay. I got it." "That's -- not... wholly wrong. Anyway, I am asking you to retrieve all books for me. All books from all time, neatly contained within one solitary manuscript. The Babylon Book. If you retrieve the book for me, you may have the Akashic records." >>[["Can I pet the Akashic records?"]] >>[["Right! The book."->Rose Riddle]]"Certainly. The Akashic records relish human affection. But... be careful. Feline instincts are a powerful thing." (set:_t to 0) Naturally, you pet the cat. (click-rerun:"pet the cat")[(set:_t to it+1)(track: 'purr','play') The cat (nth: _t, "accepts your affection","contentedly closes its eyes","rubs its face on your hand","purrs","shows you its belly", "suddenly bites your hand").] Continue (click: "Continue")[(track: 'purr','stop')(go-to: "Rose Riddle")] Seguier brandishes the paper from earlier between red, glossy, 2-inch nails. "Here is all the information you need. You get me the Babylon book, the summary of all books ever written ad infinitum, and I give you the Akashic records. Easy." "But first," she says with a tip of her checkered jockey cap: "What remains of yesterday's rose?" (link-reveal-goto: "You answer.", "Begin")[(track: 'library-music', 'fadeout', 10)(dialog: bind $answer1, "*What remains of yesterday's rose?*", "Dust", "The Thorns", "Its Name")] {(set: $headerType to 1)(set: $granola to false)(set: $cokeInPosset to false)(set: $jorgeDead to false)(set: $hasPass to false)(set: $health to 100)(set: $konami to 30)(set: $inventory to (array:)) (newgroup: 'bgm', 'library-music', 'cafeteria-music', 'jorge-battle', 'final-battle', 'ambience')(group: 'bgm', 'loop', true)(group: 'bgm', 'volume', 0.3)} "The Akashic records. A complete compendium of all human knowledge, in a convenient and cat-shaped package. They'll be of immense use to you as you write your thesis. So? Will you help me?" (track: 'purr', 'fadein', 5)(track:'purr','fadeout',2)The Akashic records look over at you and slowly blink. >>[["Yes."->Rose Riddle]] >>[["No."->That's not my job.]]You wake up in the library. Nothing seems unusual, and you don't recall anything weird. Ah! Wait -- you hear something. There must be a patron at the desk. Time to go and [[check the desk->Visitor]]. (if: $answer1 is "Its Name")[She smiles at you. "I believe I have chosen correctly."](else:)[(track:'error','play')Seguier's smirk drops. "I hope you have room to learn."] She gives you the [[piece of paper->Title]] and leaves. (masteraudio: 'stopall')(set: $headerType to 2)(bg: "rgb(64, 181, 173, 0.2)")+ (b4r: "double")+(b4r-colour: "gold")[<h3>Welcome to **Codex Crusade**</h3>] (track:'trumpet-flourish','play') The first of three eventual volumes (God willling). Anyway, it's time for you to begin your crusade! You are searching for a mythical text that will create all possible books in infinite combinations: (text-style: "emboss")[**The Babylon Book**]. You have no weapons, no tools, no buffs, and no expectations. Time to [[descend]]. The elevator brings you down to the first floor of the archives. As you understand, there are *three floors*. The doors open(click: "doors open")[(track: 'elevator','play'), and you see... a staff kitchen. How long has this been here?? You [[look around]].] (set: $jorgeDead to false) (set: $hasPass to false)(track:'ambience','play')(track:'cafeteria-music','play')The kitchen is surprisingly noisy, as workers prepare coffee and various late night snacks for hungry students and teachers in the [[Cafeteria Line]]. The [[Tables]] are mostly empty, but there are some discarded items there. The [[Snack Bar]] has several pre-packaged goods, including coffee and condiments, waiting to be picked up. But, most crucially, you see in the distance... the [[Elevator]]. You enter the cafeteria line behind a student that's nervously twitching and ahead of a student that won't stop sniffling. You can never tell if college kids during exam weeks are sick or on drugs. But the line proceeds smoothly, and you are standing in front of a cafeteria worker. With a twitch that folds her papery skin into a puppet's well-worn smile, she asks: "Do you know what you want? What do you need?" (link-reveal-goto: "You answer.", "Cafeteria Quest")[(dialog: bind $answer2, "*What do you need?*", "Answers", "The Keycard", "A Cheat Code")]You see a sea of tables. There are scattered students. Some are engaged in intense debate, some are sleeping, some are reading, many are crying. For simplicity's sake, let's focus on three primary tables. Trust me, there was nothing interesting on the other ones. [[Check Left Table]] [[Check Center Table]] [[Check Right Table]] You suppose you could also return to the [[main cafeteria->look around]], if your business here is done.You look at the snack bar. To your left are the beverages. (click: "beverages")[ <ul><li>A cold cup of (link-goto: "coffee"), with milk</li> <li>A warm can of (link-goto: "Pabst Blue Ribbon") </li> <li>A dented can of (link-goto: "Coke")</li> </ul>] To your right, snacks. (click: "snacks")[<ul> <li>A bag of (link-goto: "Doritos")</li> <li>A bizarrely expensive (link-goto: "jerky") made of seitan</li> <li>A Nature's Valley (link-goto: "granola bar")</li></ul>] You review the snack bar, considering whether or not it's time to [[return to your search->Inventory Review]](if: $freetable is true)[or [[go back to your alchemy->alchemy]]].(set:_t to 0)The elevator will take you down to the next floor, the scriptor-- uh, study rooms. There, students can silently do their work, i.e. (click-rerun: "work")[(set: _t to it+1)(nth: (min: 3, _t), "reading.", "studying.", "illuminating and copying manuscripts, especially the Bible.")] Most crucially, you'll need to get through the study rooms if you want to get down to the archives. But alas! [[Two things]] stand in your way. 1. [[Jorge the Guard]] (if: $jorgeDead is false)[He doesn't like the cut of your jib, and he'll be damned before he lets you past him into the elevator.](if: $jorgeDead is true)[But, luckily for you, Jorge the Guard has been vanquished. You face one less obstacle.] 2. [[The Elevator Pass]] (if: $hasPass is false)[Which you most certainly do not have. Only higher-up librarians have passes. Certainly not the librarian's assistant's intern.](if: $hasPass is true)[Which, coincidentally, you are holding in your mighty hand.] (if: $jorgeDead is false or $hasPass is false)[You dare not approach. For now? You can return to the [[cafeteria->look around]].](if: $jorgeDead is true and $hasPass is true)[You have everything you need. It is time to [[descend->The Elevator Pass]].] (track:'ominous','play')"You're descending below your station, intern." You recognize the voice immediately. It's the [[Librarian's Assistant]]. (if: $jorgeDead is true)[The corpse of Jorge lies before you. His glasses are broken. Ah well. On to the [[elevator->The Elevator Pass]]!](else:)[You walk up to Jorge. He looks at you over his impossibly thick glasses. His hand rests on his nightstick, idly stroking it with a crooked finger. >> [[Reason]] >> Attack (click: "Attack")[(goto: "Battle Intro")] >> [[Retreat->Two things]]] (set: $jorgeHealth to 100) (set: $health to 100)(if: $jorgeDead is false)[(track:'jorge-growl','play')You move towards the elevator. Jorge looks you dead in the eyes and emits a low growl. (if: $inventory contains "the recipe card")[(track:'knuckle-crack','play') You lift your recipe card to Jorge, smiling expectantly. He adjusts his glasses and cracks his knuckles. ]You [[return->Two things]].](if: $hasPass is false and $jorgeDead is true)[You rush to the elevator and frantically push the button to descend... but nothing happens. (if: $inventory contains "the recipe card")[ You take your recipe card out and tap it to the elevator, expectantly. Nothing. ] *The pass...* you think, before deciding to [[return->Two things]].](if: $hasPass is true and $jorgeDead is true)[You move towards the elevator, pass in hand. You tap it to the door. The keypad lights up. You see the little arrow, pointing down to your salvation. And then... you hear [[it->face it]].](if: $inventory contains "the recipe card")[(track: 'jorge-growl','play')You brandish your recipe card proudly, waving it in front of Jorge's spectacles. He bats it away, with a growl of confusion. You step back to [[ponder your next steps->Jorge the Guard]].](else:)[(link-reveal: "You try to reason with him.")[(track:'jorge-growl','play') "(prompt: [*What should I say?*], "Uhhh...", "Stammer", "Speak")" Jorge is profoundly unimpressed. He puts one hand on his nightstick and growls at you again.] You [[reconsider->Jorge the Guard]] your strategy.](text-size: 1.2)[*Show this bespectacled bastard who's boss!*] 1. [[Heavy Attack]] 2. [[Quick Attack]] _______________________ (Display: "Jorge UI") (if: $health <= 0)[(go-to: "Jorge Defeat")] (if: $jorgeHealth <= 0)[(go-to: "Jorge Victory")](b4r: "solid")(meter: bind $health, 100, "X", "**Health**: $health/100",(gradient: 90, 0, green, 1, blue)) (b4r: "solid")(meter: bind $jorgeHealth, 100, "X", "**Jorge**: $jorgeHealth/100",(gradient: 90, 0, red, 1, purple)) (if: $inventory contains "$shield")[*You are carrying a **shield**, mitigating damage you take.*] (if: $inventory contains "$weapon")[*You are **armed**, increasing your damage.*](track:'jorge-battle','volume',0.3)(track:'neck-snap','play')(track:'jorge-battle','fadeout', 15)With a final contemptuous sneer, Jorge falls to the ground. His glasses are cracked. But, strangely, there is no blood. He looks like he could be asleep. You decide not to waste time considering the implications of this. You [[return->Two things]] to your quest. (set: $jorgeDead to true)Darkness takes you. Darkness and pain. You [[faint->Cafeteria Dead]]. (track: 'thud','play')(track:'jorge-battle','stop')*You wind your arm back for a heavy attack!* (track:'heavy-attack','play') {(set: _mydmg to (Random: 0,40)) (if: $inventory contains "$weapon")[(set: _mydmg to it +10)] (set: _jorgeDmg to (Random:20,40)) (if: $inventory contains "$shield")[(set: _jorgeDmg to it - 15)] (set: $jorgeHealth to it - _mydmg) (set: $health to it - _jorgeDmg) }{(after: 2s)[(if: _mydmg <= 45)[(track:'jorge-grunt','play')Your attack hits Jorge, but leaves you off-balance.] (if: _mydmg > 45)[(track:'jorge-pain','play'))Your attack terrifies even you with its savagery.]]} (after: 4s)[*But Jorge isn't ready to quit yet.*] {(after: 5s)[(track:'pain','play')(if: _jorgeDmg <= 15)[He bats you away, casually.] (if: _jorgeDmg > 15 and _jorgeDmg < 30)[He stomps down at you. Your foot absorbs most of the blow.] (if: _jorgeDmg >= 30)[Jorge adjusts his glasses before backhanding you. Hard.]]} (after: 6s)[[[Again!!->Attack]]]*You lunge at Jorge, quickly!* {(track: 'quick-attack','play')(set: _mydmg to (Random: 15,20))(if: $inventory contains "$weapon")[(set: _mydmg to it+15)] (set: _jorgeDmg to (Random:20,40))(if: $inventory contains "$shield")[(set: _jorgeDmg to it - 20)] (set: $jorgeHealth to it - _mydmg) (set: $health to it - _jorgeDmg) }{(if: _mydmg <= 10)[(after: 1s)[(track:'jorge-grunt','play')While Jorge ducks the worst of your attack, you land a glancing blow!]] (if: _mydmg > 10)[(after: 1s)[(track:'jorge-pain','play')You catch Jorge square in the chest!]]} (after: 2s)[*But Jorge... He counters your attack!*(track:'pain','play')] (if: _jorgeDmg <= 5)[(after: 2.5s)[But you shrug it off. The damage is negligible.]](if: _jorgeDmg > 5 and _jorgeDmg < 25)[(after: 2.5s)["Your doubt makes you weak," Jorge growls as he kicks. You stumble.]](if: _jorgeDmg >= 25)[(after: 3s)[He slams his beefy hand into the back of your head. You lose a memory.]] (after: 4s)[[[Again!!->Attack]]](if: $answer2 is "Answers")[(track:'error','play')"Yes, no, to get to the other side, 1.7725," the cafeteria worker says with a sardonic grin. You want to be angrier than you are. "Learn to ask straight-forward questions, pilgrim, or you've got no chance as you descend." You [[return to the cafeteria->look around]], hands and head empty.](if: $answer2 is "The Keycard")["Ah!" she says with a twinkle in her yellowed eyes, "Well, I don't have that. But I have a card I can give you!" She dings the cash register and pulls out a torn recipe card to hand to you. You accept it and have a [[closer look->Recipe Card]].](if: $answer2 is "A Cheat Code")[(track:'error','play')"Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A. Start." You [[die instantly]].] "Whan that Aprille with his shoures soote, The droghte of Marche hath perced to the roote, And bathed every veyne in swich licour, Thanne longen folk to goon on pilgrimages, OR else drynk deep of po-- Ingedyents: Milke, a good quantitie Ale or w--, a cup or two --tynge --, such as gy-- nutmeg B--, -- Instruccyons: --" [[You consider.]]Luckily, you have more (click-prepend: "more")[(track:'konami','play')$konami (set: $konami to it - 1)] lives! You may return to the [[cafeteria->look around]]. (if: $konami is 0)[(go-to: "Faint")(track:'thud','play')]"*Pottage would complete the rhyme... But the ingredients seem to be for posset. And what can I do with a medieval recipe card?*" Your confusion is total. (if: $inventory contains "the recipe card")[You place the card in your pocket before realizing you already had one. But when you go to pat your pocket, there's only one recipe card there. You check all of your pockets... you only have one card. You can't even guess which iteration of the recipe card disappeared. You [[walk away in confusion->look around]].](else:)[You put the recipe card in your pocket and [[return to the cafeteria->look around]]. (set: $inventory to it + (a: "the recipe card"))](if: visits is 1)[You scream awake. You're standing up. Bright fluorescent lights are blinding you... until you blink the haze from your eyes and realize... You're in the [[cafeteria->look around]].](else-if: visits > 1 and < 4)[You clutch at your chest as you awaken. Jesus fuck. You're --- back? In the... [[Cafeteria?->look around]]](else-if: visits > 4)[You gasp as the pain subsides. You're back in the [[cafeteria->look around]]. The trembling in your arms stills. You're ready.](else:)[What was that?!? Did you--did you just DIE? And you're still... in the cafeteria? Is that why there's a surreal cafeteria in a LIBRARY for some reason, because you're in hell? There's no time to dwell on this. You need to [[get out of this cafeteria->look around]].] You feel the weight of the milky coffee in your hand. You know you can only carry two drinks in your hands (and maybe a snack in your pocket)... (if: $inventory does not contain "coffee")[Take Drink (click-replace: "Take Drink")[(if: $inventory contains "Coke" and "Pabst Blue Ribbon")[(track:'error','play')Wait! Both of your hands are full of beverage! You're going to have to return one before you can grab this.](else:)[(set: $inventory to it + (a: "coffee"))You grab the cup of milky coffee, just in case.]]] [[Leave->Snack Bar]] (if: $inventory contains "coffee")[Return Coffee (click-replace: "Return Coffee")[(set: $inventory to it - (a: "coffee"))You set the cup back down. Maybe you'll come back for it.]] You feel this Quasimodo of tin cans in your hand. You know you can only carry two drinks in your hands (and maybe a snack in your pocket)... (if: $inventory does not contain "Coke")[Take Drink (click-replace: "Take Drink")[(if: $inventory contains "coffee" and "Pabst Blue Ribbon")[(track:'error','play')Wait! How will you pick up a Coca-Cola, if both of your hands are full of beverage? Better return another drink and come back.](else:)[(set: $inventory to it + (a: "Coke"))You grab the explosively pressurized coke, just in case.]]] [[Leave->Snack Bar]] (if: $inventory contains "Coke")[Return Coke (click-replace: "Return Coke")[(set: $inventory to it - (a: "Coke"))You set the can back down. Gingerly.]] You feel the smooth, warm tin of beer in your hand. You know you can only carry two drinks in your hands (and maybe a snack in your pocket)... (if: $inventory does not contain "Pabst Blue Ribbon")[Take Drink (click-replace: "Take Drink")[(if: $inventory contains "Coke" and "coffee")[(track:'error','play')Alas! You have two hands, and two beverages, already. You'll have to set something down and come back for the beer.] (else:)[(set: $inventory to it + (a: "Pabst Blue Ribbon"))You grab the warm can of beer, just in case.]]] [[Leave->Snack Bar]] (if: $inventory contains "Pabst Blue Ribbon")[Return Beer (click-replace: "Return Beer")[(set: $inventory to it - (a: "Pabst Blue Ribbon"))You set the beer back down. Maybe you'll come back for it.]]A big and crinkly bag of puffed corn treats. These golden triangles are dusted with high-octane cheese, paprika, powdered yeast, and MSG. *Get fucked, medieval peasants,* you think, certain that this flavor explosion would give them a brain hemorrhage. But you can only carry one snack in your pocket! Will it be this one? (if: $inventory does not contain "Doritos")[Take Snack (click-replace: "Take Snack")[(if: $inventory contains "jerky" or "granola bar")[(track:'error','play')Wait! Where will you put this? Your pocket is stacked full of snack! Better empty your pocket and come back.](else:)[(set: $inventory to it + (a: "Doritos"))You put the crunchy bag in your pocket, just in case.]]] [[Leave->Snack Bar]] (if: $inventory contains "Doritos")[Return Snack (click-replace: "Return Snack")[(set: $inventory to it - (a: "Doritos"))You put the snack back.]]The loudest, crumbiest of all the snacks. *What a wooden foole,* the medieval peasant you keep in your head for dialectical purposes cackles at you, "*Thou snackst like a horse might! Oats? And this for all thy wealth? Pathetik!*" You can only carry one snack in your pocket! Will it be this one (to spite the medieval peasant)? (if: $inventory does not contain "granola bar")[Take Snack (click-replace: "Take Snack")[(if: $inventory contains "Doritos" or "jerky")[(track:'error','play')Wait! Where will you put this? Your pocket is stacked full of snack! Better empty your snack stash and come back.](else:)[(set: $inventory to it + (a: "granola bar"))You put the solid block of crumble'n'crunch in your pocket, just in case.]]] [[Leave->Snack Bar]] (if: $inventory contains "granola bar")[Return Snack (click-replace: "Return Snack")[(set: $inventory to it - (a: "granola bar"))You put the snack back.]]You look at the "jerky." Honestly? Pretty tasty. You wonder how you would explain seitan to a medieval peasant. But you can only carry one snack in your pocket! Will it be this one? (if: $inventory does not contain "jerky")[Take Snack (click-replace: "Take Snack")[(if: $inventory contains "Doritos" or "granola bar")[(track: 'error','play')Wait! Where will you put this? Your pocket is stacked full of snack! Better empty your snack stash and come back.](else:)[(set: $inventory to it + (a: "jerky"))You put the thin strip of wheat protein in your pocket, just in case.]]] [[Leave->Snack Bar]] (if: $inventory contains "jerky")[Return Snack (click-replace: "Return Snack")[(set: $inventory to it - (a: "jerky"))You put the snack back.]]You've grabbed: (if: $inventory's length is 0)[nothing](else:)[(joined: ", ", ...$inventory)]. You can clear your inventory, return to the [[Snack Bar]] and swap out individual items, or [[continue your search->look around]] in the rest of the cafeteria. (click: "clear your inventory")[Are you sure? Please confirm so no one can say you were tricked or otherwise swindled. (link: "Clear inventory.")[(set: $inventory to (array:))You did it! You're free of your burdens and ready to grab, uh, other burdens, I guess. Still, a win's a win.]](if: $freetable is true)[Ah, your table. Beautiful. You set to [[work->free table]].](else:)[==Four college students are embroiled in passionate discussion. (if: visits < 2)["Maybe if you read Heidegger, you'd understand why your pedestrian takes on morality aren't useful!" "Yikes! Have you considered that if your source is a Nazi, you're on the wrong team?" "Well, I think you've both missed a big point. Have either of you read House of Leaves...?"](else-if: visits >= 2)["Well, uh, you can't really talk about Aquintas without bringing up Neechem..." "What the fuck are you talking about?"](else:)["What--What were we...?" "Uh, your roommate! No... Wait... Have we been here before?"] [[Look Closer]]A single student sleeps, curled up. (link: "Look Closer")[There's a [[book]]. And also drool.] (link: "Make Noise")[You shout, "(cycling-link: "Wake up!", "Hey!", "Fire!", "There's a dog!", "Look! It's, uh, Pedro Pascal!")" The student stirs only slightly, no matter what you say.] (link-goto: "Return to Tables", "Tables")The table is covered in students, all hunched over various tomes and murmuring to themselves. Terrifying. You walk up to the students, full of confidence and swagger. (link: "Tell them off.")[(dialog: bind _retort, [*Say something cool!*], "Que pasa, calabazas?", "So! Communism, amirite?") "(print: _retort)" you say with a rakish grin. All of the students at the table look at you with wide, glazed, bloodshot eyes. They then return their vermillion gazes to the table, covered with a variety of sturdy books and trays and sharp-looking cutlery. Best [[go back->Tables]] for now.] You see a pack of cards between the students, as well as a suspiciously large cup. The students also have a huge variety of alcohol -- a handle of rum, a half-empty bottle of Smirnoff Ice, and a liter of Coca-Cola. [[Speak to Students]](if: $demandedCup is true)[The students look at you with glazed eyes. You notice that each bottle is slightly... emptier. "Wait... weren't you here earlier? I recognize you. What were we doing," one of the students slurs. But you've got a plan. (click-replace: "But you've got a plan.")["I'm here to confiscate the booze. And the cards. Gambling and underage drinking are crimes in Georgia, children." The students stare in disbelief, before they slowly stumble away, murmuring about fascism and the violence inherit in the system, and leaving their [[table free->free table]].]](else:)[=="Hello, fellow kids. What an interesting arrangement you have here!" They all look at each other. "Uh, yeah? We were actually just about to play King's Cup." (link-reveal-goto: "You seize your opportunity.", "Get Cup")[(dialog: bind $answer2, "", "Demand Cup", "Leave Students")] (if: $answer2 is "Demand Cup")["I am the king. Give me my cup." Awe is in their eyes. Well, in the eyes of all but one. A single student stands, looks upon the face of the pretender(click-append: "pretender")[, as in *you*], and spits in the cup. "No gods, no kings, no masters." Cowed with the unyielding might of revolutionary fervor, you [[leave.->Tables]] (set: $demandedCup to true)](if: $answer2 is "Leave Students")["Oh, cool. Uh, have fun?" The students look at you uneasily. Silently, they all stand up and leave. (click-replace: "leave.")[leave behind their cup, booze, and cards]. Well, if the cat's away... the mouse will help itself to a [[free table]].]You slide the book out from under the sleeping student's head, which hits the table with a thud and a snore. *The Gastronomicon*? What in the world is that? [[You flip to a random page.]] Or you leave the book and [[return to the other tables->Tables]].{(set: _recipeName to (either: "*Linguini al Multitudinous, Teeming Mass of Worms*", "*Stew*", "*Posset*", "*Foie gras d'un bibliothécaire âgé*")) (track:'leviathan','volume', 0.4)(track:'leviathan','play') (set: _ingredients to (either: "One Infinite Squiggle Horde of Thoughts of Salt Lemon Distillation of Camphor, Suspended in Colloidal Silver", "Milk Hot Wine or Ale Sugar (to tase) Spices (ginger, nutmeg, etc) Stale Bread", "Unsung Heroism Calcified Mass of Thoughts Thyme Chicken Thighs","The Ingredients to Make One (1) Stew", "Moth Wings Fly Amanitas Ink from a Digital Pen")) (set: _instructions to (either: "Mix together ingredients using chopsticks. Stir continuously in a clockwise (or anticlockwise) direction until texture becomes paste-like. Steam with sighs from the jilted.", "Heat milk to just below boiling point, then add sugar, spices and take off heat. Add alcohol, then return to heat. Stir continously and do not let mixture come to a boil. Grate stale bread into mixture and leave to cool.", "Heat oil to smoking on top of a stainless steel pan. Add lobes of liver to sear. Turn heat to low. Deglaze pan with wine and chicken stock and simmer liver until it is a fatty mass of mush. Place pan in garbage. Melt bag.", "Heat milk to just below boiling point, then add sugar, spices and take off heat. Add alcohol, then return to heat. Stir continously and do not let mixture come to a boil. Grate stale bread into mixture and leave to cool.", "Chop, dice, slice whatever you wish to see dead and in pieces. Throw this into a pot. Set it over a fire. Wait for smoke to rise, then quickly lasso the smoke with braided cottonballs that have been dusted with ash. Ride the radiation of your distaste skywards.")) (set: _randomParagraph to _recipeName +" " +_ingredients + " " +_instructions) }"(print: _randomParagraph)" You close the book. (click:"close the book")[(track: 'leviathan','stop')Fuck that. [[Better go back->Check Center Table]].] (set: $freetable to true) The students left behind a bounteous feast of mostly-empty alcohol bottles and cards. (if: $inventory contains "the recipe card")[You may begin your [[alchemy]].] [[Return->Tables]]You have a cup fit for a king. You also have several ingredients at hand, namely: (if: $inventory's length is 0)[nothing](else:)[(joined: ", ", ...$inventory)]. (link-reveal-goto: "Let's get mixing.", "Ingredient 1")[(dialog: bind $ingredient1, "*What goes in the cup first?*", "Milky Coffee", "Pabst Blue Ribbon", "Coke")](if: visits > 1)[ Or perhaps you need to return to the [[Snack Bar]]?] You may also want to review the Recipe Card. (click: "the Recipe Card")[(display: "Review Recipe Card")] (set: $cokeInPosset to false) (if: $hasPosset is true)[She sniffs it. You proffer the recipe card with joy. She looks at you incredulously as she dips the tip of her tongue in the posset. "Go throw this out. This is disgusting. But, regardless, well done, intern." You beam at her. "Just clear out these kids and clean up the tables, would ya? I want to go home." [[You go.]]](if: $hasPosset is false)[The lady takes the King Cup in hand. She looks at it, her face scrunched up in distaste, then rolls up beady little pupil up towards you. The scorn on her face is doing psychic damage to you. "This is... incorrect. Try again." Oof. Time to [[return to the drawing board->alchemy]].](if: (open-storylets: where its tags contains "clean-up")'s length <=0)[You return to a very pleased cafeteria lady. "Very good! 'Bout time someone did honest work around here. Have a key card, baby doll." You take the elevator pass in your hand. Magnificent. Now, on to the [[elevator->Elevator]].(set: $hasPass to true) (if: $inventory does not contain (a: "the elevator pass"))[(set: $inventory to it + (a: "the elevator pass"))]](else:)[Time to get cleaning. (for: each _p, ...(open-storylets: where its tags contains "clean-up")'s 1stto3rd)[ (link-goto: _p's name)]] (if:(track:'library-music','isplaying'))[(track:'library-music','stop')](storylet: when (history:) does not contain "Clean Center Table")Ah. The student continues to sleep on the *Gastronomicon*. You hesitate to mess with the arcane child, but, alas, you've been given a mission. You scream. (click-append: "scream.")[ The student snores in response. You clap. (click-append: "clap.")[ A bubble of snot is blown out of a snoozing nostril. You poke. (click-append: "poke.")[ The student suddenly jolts! It's as though he started falling and then caught himself! But then he starts snoring again. Finally, you have one last option[[...]]]]](storylet: when (history:) does not contain "Clean Left Table")The students are gone, yes, but it's still gross. And, yes, most of that grossness is due to your alchemical nonsense. So you clean up(seq-link: " the King Cup", " the Smirnoff Ice", " empty coffee cups", " empty PBR", " the granola wrapper", " and the pack of cards", ""). And you dust.(click-replace: "dust.") [dust, dust (click-replace:"dust, dust")[dust, dust, dust and you wipe (click-replace: "wipe")[wipe, wipe (click-replace: "wipe, wipe")[wipe, wipe, wipe! Voila! All clean. [[Return ->You go.]]]]]] (storylet: when (history:) does not contain "Clean Right Table")The same students from earlier are here. But now, you are invested with the full authority of the lunch lady. These dweebs don't have a chance. (link: "Tell the kids to buzz off.")[(input: "Hey, youths! Buzz off.") The youths look at you. Sullenly, they stand up and leave. [[Inspect Table]]] There are several trays, which seem to be made of a sturdy sort of plastic. There are also several textbooks, with sturdy sorts of covers. You also see several forks, sporks, spoons, and knives. Less sturdy, more sharp and pointy (excepting the spoon). You decide to grab: (cycling-link: bind $shield, "a textbook", "a plastic tray") and (cycling-link: bind $weapon, "a fork", "a spork", "a spoon", "a knife"). [[Arm Yourself]]Your weapon is $weapon. Your shield, $shield. [[Choose New Weapon->Inspect Table]] (link: "Confirm Chosen Weapons")[(set: $inventory to it + (a: "$weapon")) (set: $inventory to it + (a: "$shield")) (go-to: "You go.")] (if: $inventory contains "Pabst Blue Ribbon" and $ingredient1 is "Pabst Blue Ribbon")[(track:'pouring-beer','play')(set: $inventory to it - (a: "Pabst Blue Ribbon"))The beer fizzles as it pours into the King Cup. This is a promising start. But, wait! The cup isn't close to full. The recipe is unfulfilled. (link-reveal-goto: "Time to add a second ingredient!", "Ingredient 2")[(dialog: bind $ingredient2, "*What goes in the cup next?*", "Milky Coffee", "Coke")]](else-if: $inventory contains "Coke" and $ingredient1 is "Coke")[(track:'fizzing-soda','play')(set: $inventory to it - (a: "Coke"))(set: $cokeInPosset to true)WAIT! OH GOD! THE COKE IS PRESSURIZED! It explodes in your face. Perhaps a single drop lands in the King Cup. What a catastrophe. Suffice it to say, the cup isn't close to full. The recipe is unfulfilled. (link-reveal-goto: "Time to add a second ingredient!", "Ingredient 2")[(dialog: bind $ingredient2, "*What goes in the cup next?*", "Milky Coffee", "Pabst Blue Ribbon")]](else-if: $inventory contains "coffee" and $ingredient1 is "Milky Coffee")[(track:'pouring-coffee','play')(set: $inventory to it - (a: "coffee"))You pour the coffee into the King Cup. Freed from the confines of the soggy cardboard, you can see that it is more milk than coffee; the beverage is beige. The observation encourages you. An excellent start. The cup isn't close to full. The recipe is unfulfilled. (link-reveal-goto: "Time to add a second ingredient!", "Ingredient 2")[(dialog: bind $ingredient2, "*What goes in the cup next?*", "Pabst Blue Ribbon", "Coke")]](else:)[You reach to pour... Wait. You don't have that beverage. Whoops. Best [[go back and try again->alchemy]], with something you actually have this time. You can also try to return to the [[Snack Bar]] to grab what you're missing.] (if: $inventory contains "Pabst Blue Ribbon" and $ingredient2 is "Pabst Blue Ribbon")[(track:'pouring-beer','play')(set: $inventory to it - (a: "Pabst Blue Ribbon"))The warm beer is mostly foam, but it pours into the cup. The resulting mixture is promising. Noxious, but promising. But is it enough to satisfy the cafeteria lady? Do you want to add something else? [[Yes->Ingredient 3]] [[No->No Final Ingredient]] ](else-if: $inventory contains "Coke" and $ingredient2 is "Coke")[(track:'fizzing-soda','play')(set: $inventory to it - (a: "Coke"))(set: $cokeInPosset to true)OH NO! THE COKE! IT'S PRESSURIZED! IT EXPLODES ALL OVER YOUR FACE. At best, a few drops of Coca-Cola fall into the cup, like shrapnel from a grenade that's passed through a human first. The coke was... a negligible addition to the King Cup. Ah, well. You could add something else, you suppose. Do you want to add something else? [[Yes->Ingredient 3]] [[No->No Final Ingredient]] ](else-if: $inventory contains "coffee" and $ingredient2 is "Milky Coffee")[(track:'pouring-coffee','play')(set: $inventory to it - (a: "coffee"))You pour the coffee into the King Cup. It is probably 90% milk. It's beige. But it does make a promising addition to your recipe. Should you add something else? [[Yes->Ingredient 3]] [[No->No Final Ingredient]] ](else:)[You reach to pour... Wait. You don't have that beverage. Whoops. Best (link-undo: "try again"), with something you actually have this time.](if: $finalingredient is "granola" or "Granola" or "Granola bar" or "Granola Bar" or "granola bar" or "Nature's Valley" or "Nature's Valley granola bar" or "crumble'n'crunch" or "Nature's Valley bar")[(track:'granola','play')(set: $granola to true)You crumble in the honeyed, sugared oats. You suppose it's close enough to bread crumbs.](else:)[Ah. Well, you've added $finalingredient.] [[Let us see->Posset Sort]] how the Cafeteria Lady likes this one. (set: $inventory to it - (a: "granola bar")) (if: $inventory contains "jerky")[(set: $inventory to it - (a: "jerky")](if: $inventory contains "Doritos")[(set: $inventory to it - (a: "Doritos")](if: $cokeInPosset is false and $granola is true)[(set: $hasPosset to true)*Verily, 'tis posset of a sort*, the medieval peasant muses, *A truly vile sort, but a sort nonetheless.* You smile to yourself. You think the cafeteria lady will be pleased. Now you've just got to show her your accomplishment.](else:)[(set: $hasPosset to false)You hold in your hand a King's Cup of toxic sludge. You sure hope this passes muster.] Ah well. Time to [[let the cafeteria lady decide->return to the cafeteria lady]]."Whan that Aprille with his shoures soote, The droghte of Marche hath perced to the roote, And bathed every veyne in swich licour, Thanne longen folk to goon on pilgrimages, OR else drynk deep of po-- Ingedyents: Milke, a good quantitie Ale or w--, a cup or two --tynge --, such as gy-- nutmeg B--, -- Instruccyons: --"You grab the book.(click:"the book")[(track: 'leviathan', 'volume', 0.5)(track: 'leviathan','play')(track: 'leviathan','fadeto',7,0) The student jumps up with a cry, spitting and hissing in a forgotten tongue as he stares at you with watering eyes. He runs away. You are unaffected by his curse, or so you think. (click-replace: ", or so you think.")[. (text-size: 0.8)[(You have forgotten two rows of the multiplication table.)]] [[Return ->You go.]]](if:(track:'library-music', 'isplaying'))[(track:'library-music','stop')](track:'ominous','fadeout',4)(track:'final-battle', 'fadein', 6)"Let me ask you, intern," the assistant asks with cold confidence, "Do you know what is in my bag?" She indicates a truly hideous tote bag hanging from her shoulder. You shake your head. "This bag is a set of infinity. Would you like to reach inside?" A-ha. You see. The librarian's assistant is trying to debate you. To goad you into insanity. You will not let her. Shall you go on the defense and try to retort? Or make use of a vigorous counter-offensive? [[DEFENSE]] [[OFFENSE]] ___________________ (display: "Final Battle UI") {(b4r: "solid")(meter: bind $sanity, 100, "X", "**Sanity**: (if: $sanity is >= 90)[*You are confident, breezy, unflappable.*](else-if: $sanity is >=75)[*You are unsure of yourself. But what else is new?*](else-if: $sanity is >=50)[*You are feeling... squiggly.*](else-if: $sanity >= 25)[*You are slipping...*](else-if: $sanity < 50)[*Wait-- who are you?*]",(gradient: 90, 0, #FF5733, 1, #0437F2)) (if: $sanity is <15)[(go-to: "Desperation")]}(set: _response to (either: 1,2,3))(if: _response is 1)[You chuckle. "I'm familiar with topology. But that has *nothing* to do with this book and you know it!" The librarian smiles, "Are you so sure?" (set: $sanity to it - (either: 10, 12, 15)) Come to think of it... you aren't. "[[Let me ask you->Phase 3]] something else," she purrs.](else-if: _response is 2)[You snort. "It's nice that you've got dumb little riddles for me, boss. Shouldn't you be working or something?" (set: $sanity to it - (either: 8, 10, 20)) She smiles. And then: "[[Let me ask you->Phase 3]] something else, as I've got all the time in the world." ](else-if: _response is 3)[You grimace. "Enough! I won't listen to you..." (set: $sanity to it - (either: 5, 10, 15)) But she won't let up. "[[Let me ask->Phase 3]] you something else."] _____________ (Display: "Final Battle UI")(set: _response to (either: 1, 2, 3, 4))You realize that you've got very little chance of actually winning a debate with this librarian's assistant. Time to bullshit. (click: "bullshit")[(if: _response is 1)["It occurs to me, boss... What if the red I see isn't the red you see?" You think the librarian's assistant is having an aneurysm. "Are you--are you serious right now? That's... oh my god."](if: _response is 2)["Hey, boss, you do know that I still haven't gotten any of my paperwork for this job, right? I did not have any authorization to work here." Her eyes bulge. "Are you--are you serious? Oh my God, how long have you been working here? And no paperwork..."](if: _response is 3)["You know, boss, the librarian already gave me permission to go down into the archives." "Oh, save it," the librarian's assistant scoffs, "You know full well that's not true." You smile roguishly, "Suit yourself. I got the email. Guess you weren't worth CCing. I'll bring it up with the librarian when I get down there."](if: _response is 4)["You should know... I am pregnant. And it's yours." The librarian actually shudders with disgust. "That's not funny." But you're too stupid to register the truth of her words. "It doesn't have to be funny, boss. It just has to get you upset and off-guard."] The librarian's assistant looks flabbergasted. Your smug sense of satisfaction buoys your sanity. You [[press your advantage->Final Response]].] _____________ (Display: "Final Battle UI")(set: _n to 0)The librarian's assistant throws her bag at you with a shriek. You see the gaping maw of nothing coming towards you. *Oh god, I'm about to be consumed by nothing! Wait, no. It's not that nothing's about to consume me... I'm about to be consumed by Nothing! That's not nothing -- it's Nothing! It's a thing!*" And you know what they say about things?(click-append: "things?")[You can **hit them**. With your ***weapon***! You bellow-- (click-replace: "bellow--")[bellow as you brandish your weapon and wave it at the inky, oily nothing. (link-repeat: "You smack the nothingness.")[(set: _n to it + 1)(track: 'thump','play')"EWWWW!" (if: _n is 10)[(track: 'squish', 'play')(goto: "Nothing Defeated")]]]](track:'victory','play')You hear the assistant as she takes the elevator up. She has left behind her bag, prominently labelled ABC: Cantor's Backwards Aleph. This bag will contain multitudes, and you suspect that you will need it. Err, them. You will need them. Now, the elevator lies open. It is time to [[descend->End Credits]].<h3>Congratulations!!</h3> You've completed Codex Crusade... Volume One! Look forward to the next stage of your descent at some indefinite point in the future! (track:'trumpet-flourish','play')(dialog: bind _retort,"How stupid do you want your retort to be?", "Extremely", "Not at All")(if: _retort is "Extremely")["Mama always said to not stick your hand in strange purses, boss. You'll have to try something else." A vein appears on her forehead. "So incurious. I see why you have failed to descend." That one stings, you have to admit. The librarian's assistant smiles as [[she continues->Phase 2]].(set: $sanity to it - 15)](if: _retort is "Not at All")["Is that the name 'Cantor' I spot on the bag, boss? That would explain all the waffling about 'sets' and 'infinity.' Why don't you spare us both the effort?" The Librarian's Assistant gives you a grin. She reaches into the bag and pulls out a copy of "Ueber eine Eigenschaft des Inbegriffes aller reellen algebraischen Zahlen" and throws it at you. While you catch it, a brief flip-through of the pages reveal arcane glyphs that cause your vision to swim even after you've closed the paper. But you must [[respond->Phase 2]]. (set: $sanity to it - 25)] _________________ (Display: "Final Battle UI") (dialog: bind _retort,"How stupid do you want your retort to be?", "Extremely", "Not at All")(if: _retort is "Extremely")["Sorry, toots, my hand's too busy to go rooting around in bags." With that, you triumphantly make the sign of an L and press it to your forehead. While blowing a raspberry. Your sanity is barely affected by her nonsense. The librarian's assistant pinches the bridge of her nose and takes a deep breath before [[she responds->Phase 2]].(set: $sanity to it - 5)](if: _retort is "Not at All")["These games are beneath you, boss. Do you always waste time with rhetorical questions or is it just when you know you'd lose a fair fight?" The Librarian's Assistant smirks at you and throws her bag onto the ground. Nothing falls out of it. The nothing begins to creep towards you. It feels like there are maggots wriggling against your skull. The librarian's assistant smiles at you and [[responds->Phase 2]].(set: $sanity to it - 25)] _________________ (Display: "Final Battle UI")(set: _response to (either: 1, 2, 3, 4))"I have a simple riddle for you, intern. If you answer it, you can take the ABC Bag and be on your way." You tighten your grip on $weapon but nod your assent. "Good," she smiles. (if: _response is 1)["Did anyone ever cross each of the 7 bridges of Koenigsburg once and only once?"](if: _response is 2)["How would you comb flat every hair on a coconut?"](if: _response is 3)["Touch your forefinger and thumb together to make a circle on each hand. Now link the circles. Can you unlink the circles... without opening your fingers?"](if: _response is 4)["A coffee cup and a donut are the same in what respect?"] You grit your teeth and (link-reveal-goto: "respond", "Phase 4")[(set: $answer to (prompt: [Come on, give her some kind of response!!], "Uh, no? Yes? MAYBE!?", "Stutter", "Confirm"))]. _____________ (Display: "Final Battle UI")Your febrile imagination is beginning to spin out of control in a widening gyre of desperation. Fuck it. (click-replace: "Fuck it.")["None of this is real anyway, boss." The assistant tosses a white lock of hair behind her head, "Yes, I am aware, dear." "No, boss, I mean it's *really* not real. But in a way that biases to me. I'm the main character here. I get to win. You don't." She scoffs, but you smile. You're not sure if you're right, but deep, deep, down... you know you are. [[You wink.->Victory]] ]_____________ (Display: "Final Battle UI")"What do you really know about this book? The Babylon Book. Do you think every possible iteration of every combination of letters in the world could be useful to anyone? Why have you been tasked with retrieving it?" Hm. An interesting series of questions. Your thoughts are spiraling -- (cycling-link: "*Don't know*", "*Don't care*", "*Tell me more*", "*Should I know?*", "*Am I dumb?*") -- but the librarian's assistant looks at you expectantly. You must (link-reveal-goto: "respond", "Offense")[(dialog: "*How shall you respond?*", "Offensively", "Defensively")]. (set: $sanity to it - (either: 5, 10, 15)) ___________________ (display: "Final Battle UI") {(if: $headerType is 2)[ (bg: "rgb(255, 87, 51,0.25)")+(text-colour:"rgb(255, 87, 51)")+(b4r: "solid")+(b4r-color: "#e32636")[ (link-fullscreen: "Fullscreen On", "Fullscreen Off", "Fullscreen Unavailable") | (link-repeat: "Resume Audio")[(masteraudio: 'mute', false)] | (link-repeat: "Pause Audio")[(masteraudio: 'mute', true)]<p>*You're carrying*: (if: $inventory's length is 0)[*nothing*](else:)[(joined: ", ", ...$inventory)]</p>]](else:)[ (text-size: 0.75)[ (button:"====X")[[Skip Intro]] ]]} "Indeed I am, boss," you murmur contemptuously, "I'm on a mission. The Babylon Book -- Where is it?" "That is not for you to know, intern. I cannot allow you to continue." You [[ready your weapon]]. (set: $sanity to 100)(if: $sanity is > 50)["$answer" is your response. The librarian's assistant laughs. You may not be going mad, but you are getting annoyed. "Respectfully, I don't give a single damn about topology or math or *whatever*. Give me the key card and get out of my way." She smiles at you. "I'm not done with you yet, intern. I must [[ask you->Her Response 2]] something else."(set: $sanity to it - 20)](else-if: $sanity is <= 50 and > 15)["$answer", you say. You desperately try to blink the thoughts away. She laughs at you. "SHUT UP! Shut up! Stop!" (set: $sanity to it - 10) "No," she whispers, "I will [[ask you->Her Response 2]] something else."](else-if: $sanity is <= 15)[You are... slipping. You hear a voice coming from... somewhere? What did it say? (set: $sanity to it - 5) "[[Let me ask you->Her Response 2]] one more thing."] ___________________ (display: "Final Battle UI")You grin stupidly, "Not so smart now, are ya, boss?" You think she's about to have a stroke. You feel a surge of spiritual power -- whether it's your smug satisfaction or the Taoist power emanating from your empty mind is immaterial. "Do you think this was all worth it?" she screams, "You've wasted my time and yours! Your reward will be... NOTHING!" She grabs her tote bag and opens it in your general direction. As the nothing begins its slow ooze towards you, you panic. [[Oh shit.->Victory]] ___________________ (display: "Final Battle UI")"Do you honestly think you deserve this book? This descent? How many years have you spent in the labyrinth of academia!? There is only one path, and it takes YEARS because it is full of twists and turns! You can't skip ahead!" You roll your eyes at that one, but find yourself at a loss for a response. Your thoughts are silverfish, digging through the pages of your mind. You try to [[think and respond->Bullshit]]. (set: $sanity to it - 10) ___________________ (display: "Final Battle UI")"Do you have any idea what that woman really is!? Seguier? You hardly think she's the type to keep a bargain with a lowly intern!" You (link-repeat: "scream at her -- ")[*Shut up* ]! But she [[continues->Her Response]]!(set: $sanity to it - 10) ___________________ (display: "Final Battle UI")Very well, no final ingredient for you. You return to the cafeteria lady, your slurry of $ingredient1 and $ingredient2 in hand. She stares at you and says, "What the hell is this? Throw this out. And get outta my face, too, while you're at it." You suppose you must return to your [[alchemy]], but you are definitely laid low by rejection. /* Background Music and Ambience */ library-music: ./audio/library music.mp3 cafeteria-music: ./audio/cafeteria background.wav ominous: ./audio/ominous.mp3 victory: ./audio/victory.wav trumpet-flourish: ./audio/trumpet flourish.mp3 ambience: ./audio/cafe ambience.mp3 konami: ./audio/konami.wav final-battle: ./audio/final battle.wav jorge-battle: ./audio/jorge battle.wav /* Fight */ jorge-pain: ./audio/jorge pain.wav jorge-grunt: ./audio/jorge grunt.wav jorge-growl: ./audio/jorge growl.wav pain: ./audio/pain grunt.wav quick-attack: ./audio/quick attack.wav heavy-attack: ./audio/heavy attack.wav neck-snap: ./audio/neck snap.wav thud: ./audio/thud.wav /*Sound Effects*/ meow: ./audio/cat.wav chirrup: ./audio/cat twitter.wav door: ./audio/door open.wav purr: ./audio/cat purr.wav heels: ./audio/heels walking.wav elevator: ./audio/elevator.mp3 fizzing-soda: ./audio/exploding soda.wav snack-wrapper: ./audio/snack wrapper.wav pouring-beer: ./audio/pouring-beer.wav pouring-coffee: ./audio/pouring-coffee.wav granola: ./audio/granola.wav spirit-gun: ./audio/spirit-gun.wav leviathan: ./audio/leviathan.wav knuckle-crack: ./audio/knuckle-crack.wav error: ./audio/error.wav squish: ./audio/squish.wav thump: ./audio/thump.wav showControls: false preload: true muteOnBlur: true(track:'cafeteria-music' , 'fadeout', 10)Suddenly, there is silence.(click: "silence")[(masteraudio: 'stopall')] Do they know what's coming? You ready yourself for battle. (click: "ready yourself")[(track:'jorge-battle','fadein',10)(if: $inventory contains "$shield")[Luckily, you are carrying a **shield**, which you entrust with your protection.] (if: $inventory contains "$weapon")[You are also **armed**, increasing your damage.]] [[Attack]]!<h4><span class="container">NOTHING DEFEATED</span></h4>(track:'final-battle','fadeout',5) (track: 'squish', 'play')The nothing bursts under your weapon. Gross. You look up at the librarian's assistant, who is staring slack-jawed at you. "After all that... after everything... you just hit it. I--I've had enough. I'm going home. You can go to hell." With that, she turns and [[leaves->You are victorious.]]. Now, time to add that final, extra-special ingredient. You have: (if: $inventory's length is 0)[nothing. Ah. Perhaps it would be best to return to the [[Snack Bar]] first? ](if: $inventory's length > 0)[(joined: ", ", ...$inventory). What shall you add? Something from your inventory? Or would you like to quickly pop back to the [[Snack Bar]]? (input: bind $finalingredient) [[Let's see if that works->Final Ingredient]].](masteraudio: 'stopall')(go-to: "Title")