<!--
	Title: Call the Exterminator
	Source: The New Zork Times, v3(4)
	Date: Fall 1984
	Transcription by Steve Derby
-->

Despite ruthless testing by our Quality Control Department, every
now and then some embarrassing bug escapes the watchful eyes of the
Infocom Exterminators and creeps onto your disk. Most people never
see these bugs, but they can be jarring when they rear their ugly little
heads.

Take, for instance, an early version of *Deadline*. Somewhere outside the
house, you are told The gardener is here, talking to
himself.

You could then have the following interaction with the computer:

<p style="font-family: var(--article-sidebar), Arial, sans-serif;">
&gt;LISTEN TO THE GARDENER<br>
The roses make no sound.
</p>

Not exactly a breakthrough in your investigation.

Your living quarters in *Starcross* are spartan: when you start the story,
there's nothing in the room but you, a bunk, and a tape library. Not much
can go wrong, right? Wrong.

<p style="font-family: var(--article-sidebar), Arial, sans-serif;">
&gt;PUT THE TAPE LIBRARY ON THE BUNK<br>
The bunk isn't open.</p>

Needless to say, the bunk in *Starcross* opens about as often as the
roses in Deadline talk.

A bug in early versions of *Sorcerer* makes you look like a better magician
than you really are. If you know the name of a spell (FWEEP, for
instance), you can take it even if you are nowhere near the spell scroll.
Don't know where you left a spell scroll? Can't get there from here? No
problem! Just type TAKE FWEEP and hey, presto! There you have it!
Fortunately, the command SOLVE THE GAME isn't so obliging.

Usually, if you mention an object that you don't have or can't see, you'll
be told "You don't have that" or "You can't see that." A bug in some
versions of *Infidel™*, however, allowed the following interaction,
whether you had the torch or not:

<p style="font-family: var(--article-sidebar), Arial, sans-serif;">
&gt;LIGHT THE TORCH WITH THE MATCH<br>
The bronze torch is now lit.</p>

Philosophers once asked, "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there,
does it make any sound?" Now they wonder, "If you light a torch, but
you don't have it and can't see it, is it really lit?"

Lastly, players of early *Planetfall* releases saw this charmer:

<p style="font-family: var(--article-sidebar), Arial, sans-serif;">
&gt;FLOYD, TAKE THIS LASER<br>
You manage to lift Floyd a few inches off the ground, but he is
too heavy and you drop him suddenly.</p>

The program is playing games with you. Perhaps it would rather be
playing Hider-and-Seeker with Floyd.