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	Title: (Scorpion's Tale) Bureaucracy
	Author: Scorpia
	Source: Computer Gaming World, v7(5)
	Date: Jun-Jul 1987
	Transcription by Steve Derby
-->

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*Warning! Scorpion's Tale contains hints on solving
computer adventure games. If you do not want
help, do not read on.*

Yes, indeed, step right in. It's much more
pleasant in here than outside in the middle of
summer (but don't worry; if summer is here, can
winter be far behind?). Fred is making you an
extra-strong one today. You're going to need it. This
time around, you're coming up against something
terrible, something worse than Krill, Jeearr, Mangar,
Exodus and Lagoth Zanta all rolled into one.
That's right, you're about to face the ultimate horror,
the inescapable nightmare, the bane of all existence:
*Bureaucracy*.

Make no mistake about it; this is not an easy
game. Some of the puzzles are quite hard. Yet there
are many that are simple. *Bureaucracy*, overall, is
somewhat uneven in this regard, partly due to
having passed through so many programmers on its
way to the shelves. Near the end of the game,
you'll be able to read its history, and marvel at the
number of people who worked on it in one way or
another. When they say on the box "and the staff of
Infocom", they aren't exaggerating!

Another interesting aspect of the game is its
linearity. You go from location to location, solving
a series of puzzles in each before moving on to the
next one. Once you've started, there is no going
back. That's rather unusual for an Infocom game,
isn't it?

You start off with a form. That's right, you
have to fill out a mock license application to get
started. Do keep the information you enter in mind,
though; you might need some of it later on (you
may also want to save the game real soon after this,
so you don't have to do it again).

With that out of the way, there you are, standing
in your new home. Yes, you've just moved in,
even if your furniture hasn't. It will, no doubt, arrive
sooner or later, probably later. That doesn't
bother you too much. After all, in a short while
you'll be on your way to Paris, courtesy of your
new company, Happitec. That is, you <u>will</u> be on
your way as soon as you pick up your ticket and a
money order arrives in the mail. You're a little
short of cash at the moment. While you're looking
over your new home (which seems to consist of
only a living room and a back room), the doorbell
rings. Aha! Could this be what you've been waiting
for?

Quickly you answer the door, only to find that
it's not the mailman, but a delivery man bringing
you a sack of llama treats. Llama treats? No matter,
there is probably some madness in this method, so
you pay for the treats (plastic money is good for
some things).

That's about when you realize the treats were
delivered to the wrong address and a nasty little
chill runs along your spine. Suppose YOUR mail
was delivered to someone else? Eeek! You rush out
to your mailbox and open it. Sure enough, the
leaflet inside is addressed to another house. Uh, oh!
Well, there's nothing for it but to go snooping
and nosing around other people's houses, poking
through their mail in the hopes of finding our own.
Naturally, there is no way you're going to be able
to explain about the mix-up, which means you'll
have to be incredibly devious.

Now, there's no set order here. You can go to
the various houses and establishments in almost any
order. I will say, though, that however you do it,
your own mail will always be the last you find, so
you must go everywhere. There's no getting around
that. In fact, whatever else you do, make careful
note of the order of the postal stickers on the mail
or you'll be very sorry later on.

The fast-food joint has no mail, but you'll have
to eat there sooner or later. I suggest later, when
you're hungry enough to at least partially enjoy
your meal. Ditto for the bookstore: no mail, but
perhaps something else of interest. Ask the clerk
about a few things you see around you there. The
travel agency is one of the truly straightforward
things in the game, which ought to make you suspicious.
I mean, if it's that easy to pick up your
ticket, you'd guess there was something horrible
waiting for you up the line, and you'd be right.

That's still a bit in the future, however, and you
have other concerns at the moment. For instance,
you might be concerned about the house across
from the travel agency, the one where you can't go
upstairs (you really can't, so don't worry about it).
However, there is the slightly mad stamp collector,
busily shredding his mail (or perhaps, it's your
mail). Better do something about him quickly.

<img class="float-left" src="/public/img/articles/cgw-scorpions-tale-bureaucracy/bureaucracy cover.jpg" alt="Bureaucracy cover">

Well, it turned out not to be your stuff, but at
least you now have an issue of *Popular Paranoia*...
just what you've always wanted. Speaking of that,
there's a small flyer that comes with the game
about the magazine. Do keep it handy, as you'll
need it a little later on.

As you go along south, you pass a mansion from
which popular music floats out, the sort of music
you hear on 'easy listening' stations, in elevators, or
even airports. The lady inside totes an elephant
gun, and she's a dead shot with it. You don't want
to mess with her. Of course, there might be another
way inside... look around a bit.

Further down the street, you come to the llama
farm. This must have been the place that actually
ordered the llama treats. Make sure you read the
sign, as well as examine everything around you,
including the mailbox. There is mail to be found
here, if you look in the right place and do the right
thing. Luckily, you don't have to take the llama
with you.

At the very end of the street, you see a camouflaged
house. The security here is very tight. You
won't be able to get inside until you satisfy the intercom
voice in some way. Now, perhaps, may not
be the right time (and I'll bet that by now you're
having some second thoughts about your new
neighborhood).

As you go back, you may notice something new
about the llama farmhouse. Like, the front door is
open (remember the sign?). No one's looking; go
ahead, step inside. Oh well, nothing here; looks like
the place has been cleaned out very thoroughly.

That's when the weirdo shows up, carrying an
arsenal that Rambo would be proud of. He's obviously
waiting for you to do something. So, do it
before he leaves. He may even be able to help out
with one of your little problems.

In time, when you've gotten into the camouflaged
house, escaped from the basement jail (with
a little help from a friend), and finally, obtained
your own mail, you will have just one tiny difficulty
to overcome: turning a check for -$75 into
real cash.

Yes indeed, a negative check. Read the memo
for an explanation, although it's not much help.
You'll have to think in reverse here, as the solution
is not obvious. However, if you fool around enough
with deposit slips and withdrawal slips, the idea
may come to you.

Now, at last, you're ready for the airport. Make
sure you have everything you need, call the cab
company (suspiciously easy again!) and you're off
(Kinda)!. When you go to check in at Omnia Gallia,
however, you find that airline has gone out of
business. Your flight to Paris will now be handled
by Air Zalagasa. Ho hum. Finding Air Zalagasa (as
precious minutes tick away) may not be simple.
Odd, how every time you try an area that says "Air
Zalagasa," it doesn't seem to be there. Let's hope
that suggests something to you.

Here it is at last! Unfortunately, the person in
front of you has some complicated scheduling he
wants to arrange, and it's taking forever, or possibly
longer. So, you wait while your new flight is
announced and then, is closed. It taxis out of the
terminal to the runway, and you gnash your teeth
down to the roots.

Finally, you make the ticket exchange, although
the situation seems hopeless. Or does it? Amazing
how you never noticed that pillar before. Well,
don't just stand there, get a move on! You don't
have much time!

You don't need me to tell you what has to be
done here; the obvious will do fine (as I said, many
of the puzzles are easy and when they aren't easy,
they're **hard**). On your way back, you may want to
check out the speaker, one of many blaring forth
that inane 'easy listening' music. Don't you just
hate it? Wouldn't you just love to do something
about it? I sure hope so.

So here you are, in the plane, on your way to
Paris via Zalagasa, wherever that may be. This is a
good time to check out your surroundings, the airline
magazine, for one. It contains some interesting
articles. The headphones are connected to (what
else?) 'easy listening' music. Don't forget to play
with those cute buttons, either.

In a short while, dinner is served. Guess what it
is? It's Zalagasan stew, something you can easily
live without. Hint: don't eat it. Getting rid of it,
however, is not so easy. The airline attendants seem
obsessed with making sure you poison yourself
with this atrocious "food".

<img class="float-right-half" src="/public/img/articles/cgw-scorpions-tale-bureaucracy/bureaucracy-packaging.jpg" alt="Bureaucracy packaging">

Somehow, some way, you are going to have to
get rid of the noxious concoction. If you wait too
long, the consequences will be too horrible to contemplate.
And we certainly don't want that happening!
Now is a good time to play with the buttons
again and feel free to move around.

Once the stew has been dealt with, you receive a
telephone call. Yes, there is (*mirabile dictu*!) a
phone on the plane. However, the conversation is
going to be a short one. The connection will soon
go dead and you will overhear the pilot telling the
control tower that the plane is going to crash in
about five minutes.

Very fortunately for you, the phone is right next
to the emergency hatch. Unfortunately, you don't
happen to have a parachute. Perhaps someone could
help you out here, if you ask for the right thing.

In due time, you're out of the plane (with a
parachute, I hope), floating -down into the wilds of
Zalagasa. In fact, right into a Zalagasan cooking
pot: The Zalagasans, as you know if you read the
magazine, are cannibals. How clever of you to arrive
just in time for dinner!

Oh, that prospect doesn't thrill you? Hmmm. In
that case, you had better get their minds on other
things. Fast. Remember they are members of ZBUG
and eclipse-predicting is old hat these days.

Let it not be said that the Zalagasans take and
do not give. You very kindly receive a mysterious
unlabeled cartridge and an address book. Looks like
the book you lost at the airport, but perhaps you
should check, just in case. I'd also advise getting
out of the pot while you can.

Whump! Seems like you fell into a pit (well, it
doesn't matter; you had no idea where you were
going anyway) and ended up in a Grubby Antechamber
with a locked locker. Do read the sign
below the handles carefully and count your hands.
Since you have a little time here, you may want
to check out your new cartridge. By all means read
the "NOOZ." You'll find out more about Bureaucracy's
history than you ever dared ask for or possibly
wanted to know.

There are four other files in the cartridge. Look
at the directory listing carefully. They should remind
you of something. Further, keep in mind that
not everything is read from left to right.

Once through the Switchgear rooms (let's not inquire
as to what they are doing in the middle of a
jungle), you approach the end game. After the
hatch, you arrive in the Persecution Complex,
where much becomes clear. The longing for revenge
boils up within you and revenge is in your
grasp! You, too, can be a hacker! Plug in, log on,
and... well, really, I can't quite tell you what to do
(except to say that you ought to have an emergency
route ready before you leave). Be sure to look over
all the files, all the commands, and all the computer
messages. Then, do one little thing to make
life sweet again. Now, if it could only end up this
way in real life. Alas, such victories are often
achieved only in computer realities such as this. I
suppose, alas, it's better than nothing.

Well, I see by the invisible clock it's that time
yet again. Remember, if you need help with an adventure
game, you can reach me in the following
ways:

On Delphi: visit the GameSIG (under the Groups
& Clubs menu). On GEnie: Stop by the Games
RoundTable (type: Scorpia to reach the Games RT).
On the Source: send SMail to ST1030. By U.S. mail
(enclose a self-addressed, stamped envelope if you
live in the United States): Scorpia, PO Box 338,
Gracie Station, NY NY 10028.

Until next time, happy adventuring!

Copyright 1987 by Scorpia, all rights reserved.