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	Title: (Dimmer Dungeons: Classic Adventures From The Past) Zork Zero
	Author: Marci Rogers
	Source: Enchanted Realms #5
	Date: March-April 1991
	Transcription by Steve Derby
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*RealmsHead Inn is alive with the chatter of weekend diners. Those cursed
azure bonds have faded, and the throbbing in your arm has finally ceased. You
should turn your attention to the savory roast fowl sizzling on your plate, but for
some reason you cannot. Your head lolls backward, your eyelids droop. Fatigue
permeates your being, dulling your senses so that you barely feel a gentle touch
on your shoulder. The hand rests for a moment, then releases you, only to be
replaced by another touch, stronger and imbued with soothing warmth. Your
weariness lessens, and you open your eyes to see a man gazing at you, his grey
eyes compassionate as only a healer's can be. He wears the deep scarlet tunic
of the Rilian Order, and his ancestry is impossible to guess. Human surely. but
only in part, and the rest...?*


*"This is Alairic," says Maeve from the chair next to yours. You don't recall
when she sat down, so you feel a bit confused. "I've never known anyone he
couldn't make better," she continues, "and you are welcome to dine with us. Our
other friends will be here shortly."*

*Excitement replaces lethargy. You knew she must be part of an adventuring
group, but you hardly dared hope to meet them. "Th-th-thank you," you manage
to stammer in Alairic's direction. "I' d be honored to join you, and I' m normally
not such poor company, as Maeve can tell you. I think I must still be
battle-weary from my last campaign. All that endless fighting, and then
searching, only to fight again. Oh, I wish there were more adventures where the
mind was mightier than the sword, where the key to success was to conquer by
wit instead of force."*

*A look of nostalgia passes over Maeve's face. Running one delicate finger
around the rim of her glass and gazing into the water as though it contained
images, she speaks:*

## Grue in the Stew

Fools they were, young one, but divine fools, and for one glorious space of
dungeon time, the whole adventuring world danced to their tunes. Infocom — a
name to conjure upon, about, with. At first they were known only in the
shrouded halls of mainframes, but then their text adventures flared onto every
machine, regardless of format. All who thirsted for richness of word and plot
were fed in the Great Underground Empire, and then in strange and wondrous
worlds beyond. Everywhere adventurers met, one magic password was
whispered: "Zork."

Bright days those were, before your time entirely, and a great portion before
mine, and over all too soon. Gaming wasn't serious enough, you see, and the
creators of G.U.E., like their ambitious King Duncanthrax, had aspirations of
"better" things — "real" programming. Cornerstone it was called, but truer in
faith if it had been named "Gravestone." Its failure dealt a harsh blow, yet might
have been survived if the company had not ignored the nearly universal cry for
graphics.

## One Picture Is Worth???

Things were far different than they are today, when most programming
energy, especially for the Amiga, is put in graphics and sound, usually at the
expense of plot, leaving trite stories and contrived characters. Infocom would
never have tolerated such dulling of the gamer's mind, but they weren't quick
enough to act when it seemed possible that text adventures might live. They did
not, and Infocom was sold to - Mediagenic. (I whisper this accursed name, for
they are the ones who will not market Amiga versions of their product, and this
inn is full of loyalists.) The first effect of this change was the addition of the
much needed graphics.

Infocom fans hoped then, and perchance made offerings to whatever powers
they revered, but mostly in vain. The first products were mediocre at best, with
the exception of one or two gems among the stones. Brightest shone **Zork
Zero**, which was a "prequel," returning the adventurer to the pinnacle of the
Great Underground Empire, where all would thrive except for the curse of
Megaboz, an ill-tempered sorcerer with a distaste for Flatheads. You, and you
alone of course, could restore peace to the realm if you could only find all 24 of
the Flathead artifacts and throw them into Megaboz's cauldron, which he
conveniently left in the castle's banquet hall.

## Surely, You Jester

Naturally, you cannot let the empire suffer, so you are off on the most
devilish clever scavenger hunt ever devised. Even the copy protection will
enthrall you, since it is a Flathead calendar which gives clues to the nature of
these artifacts, two per Royal Family member. It also provides necessary clues
which the on-screen hints won't divulge, leaving the 512K disk easily copyable
and installable on hard disk. You can even multi-task with this adventure, but I
doubt you would. It should take your full attention to get through such puzzles
as the "Construction Site" and "Catching the Flies."

<img class="float-right-narrow" src="/public/img/articles/enrealms-review-zork-zero/jester-clipart.png" alt="Clip art of a jester's head">

If you hate traveling alone, don't fret. You'll have a companion — sort of —
Wurb's jester, who challenges you with riddles, plagues you with annoying
tricks, and forces you to compete against him in perplexing games, including a
round of nerve-wracking Double Fanucci. The jester even helps occasionally,
just to be ornery.

## We're Closed; Next Ticket Window, Please

Does this sound exciting? It is, but don't be misled. The graphics are simple
and few, and you will have to read the encyclopedia in the library to view some
of them. Sound is non-existent as well, and the mapping feature is a series of
boxes and lines. If you want glamour, you'll have to create it in your mind, and,
oh, with the strength of the story and the slickness of that famous Infocom
parser, how easy that is!

Want to go, my young friend? Of course you do, but that may place you on
a second scavenger hunt, as Triton Products has been disbanded, and they were
Infocom's clearing house. If you can find a copy of the game, it should please
your pocketbook with a price tag under fifteen dollars. It's worth a search.
More than the Great Underground Empire suffered with the demise of the "old,
unimproved" Infocom. Adventure realms everywhere grew a bit duller, a shade
darker, and that evil spell is yet to be broken.

*She turns her attention to the arrival of a handsome blond Paladin
accompanied by a heavily bearded dwarf You consider what you may have
been missing by not knowing the legends surrounding Zork. You would like to
see the Great Underground Empire for yourself, but how will you manage it?
You can't even manage to keep your napkin on your lap instead of the floor. As
you duck under the table to retrieve it, you notice a figure in motley sitting
cross-legged under another table directly opposite yours. He winks, and then
vanishes. The cloth napkin crackles in your hand like crisp paper. You open it
and find a hastily scribbled parchment note. It's unsigned, but you' re sure of the
author the moment you read it: "Meet me at the West Ruins tomorrow at dawn.
Lots of fun awaits. By the way, how are you at Double Fanucci?"*

<img style="max-width: 85%; display: block; margin: auto;" src="/public/img/articles/enrealms-review-zork-zero/zork-zero-box-score.png" alt="Enchanted Realms' rating for Zork Zero: 83/100">
