<!--
	Title: Call the Exterminator
	Source: The New Zork Times, v3(1)
	Date: Winter 1984
	Transcription by Steve Derby
-->

Despite our best honing efforts, some pretty funny bugs have made it
out into the marketplace. Here's a run-down of some of the most
embarrassing and hilarious bugs on record. Note of caution: If you
haven't finished a particular game, we'd advise against reading the
associated paragraph.

## ZORK I

There is an obscure container bug that is probably in every single
version of the game. A while back, we were wondering what would
happen if you have two large containers, and you tried putting
them inside each other. So, we went into *Zork I*, put the coffin inside the
raft, and then said PUT RAFT IN COFFIN. They both disappeared!

*Zork I*, being our oldest game, contains some classic InfoBugs in its
early version. Shaking any nonempty open container may cause a
crash. You "bump your head on the river" if you try to enter it. And
saying GO &lt;SOMETHING&gt;, such as GO ROPE, may send you into a
totally bizarre location.

## ZORK II

One of the funniest bugs ever discovered was that you could "talk"
to various objects in *Zork II*, such as the aquarium. A command like
AQUARIUM, WEST would elicit the response, "The aquarium leaves
the room." One player led the aquarium halfway across the
dungeon in search of the solution to a problem.

## ZORK III

Possibly the most embarrassing bug ever released occurs at the very
end of the earliest version of this game. If you are carrying the sword
in Prison Cell number four when the Dungeon Master pushes the button
on the Parapet, the game crashes. This happens because the sword's
routine checks adjoining rooms to know whether to glow, and the
relocated Prison Cell had two different NORTH exits. The reason
none of the testers ever found this bug was because they all used the
sword to block the beam of light, and therefore never brought it as far as
the Prison Cell!

A really fun bug occurs when you enter the dungeon, drop one of the
seven items necessary for admission, and then knock on the dungeon door
FROM THE INSIDE! The Dungeon Master will tell you you're not ready
and send you back to the Button Room, but also follow you! You can
then lead him all over the game, and even strand him in the *Zork I* area, if
you're clever.

In an early version of the game, you could carry a light source across
the lake inside the chest, thus avoiding using the viewing table to
get the grue repellent, and consequently finishing the game with only
6 of the 7 points. Since this bug was fixed, we’ve had people call up,
saying "but my friend says the way to get to the Key Room is to bring a
light source across the lake inside the chest"!

## STARCROSS

Speaking of talking to inanimate objects, this bug is rampant in early
versions of *Starcross*. A simple (though totally unintended) solution
to the red rod problem is to say NEST, DROP ROD. The game
replies "Dropped." Ouch. Along the same lines, one player was trying to
turn the beam of energy off in the Laboratory, and said BEAM, OUT.
The game's response: "The beam leaves the room."

Try this one: go to the top of the tree and say THROW HANDS. If
you have an early version, *Starcross* replies "The pair of hands sails away,
drifting in a long arc towards the ground."

## DEADLINE

Well, there's the first floor bathroom door that was difficult to
open. If you said OPEN DOOR, you were asked "Which door do you
mean, the door or the south closet door."

A bug that (thankfully) only a few people have managed to duplicate is
the strange case of the two Dunbars —- the corpse lying upstairs
in the bedroom, and the live Dunbar wandering around as though nothing
strange has happened!

Finally, here's a personal favorite. Sit down on a piece of furniture,
such as the couch or a bed. Then say (something like) BAXTER, TELL
ME ABOUT MARSHALL ROBNER. *Deadline* replies "You
can't see any me here." This one was recently voted Bug of the Year by
the New England Playtesters Association (NEPA).

## YOU CAN DO IT

Stretch your imagination a bit and try to find some spectacular bugs of
your own. The finest bugs begin in the human mind! Here's an example --
what would happen if you said AGAIN on the first move of the game?
